This is What I Still Have to Live For… I guess.
© 2011, Joe Bodolai, All rights reserved
This is what I saw on a Thanksgiving night bus ride last year after volunteering serving dinner to the homeless. Sorry for the shaky video. It’s just another night in the underclass. By the way, the woman in the cutaway says “Driver! Control the electronic disease.” Meaning my phone.
Big Pharma’s Ideal Drug: Treats Nothing, All Side Effects
By Joe Bodolai © 2010, All rights reserved
Drug companies in recent years have continually improved their TTSR — “treatment to side effect ratio” — and poured millions into marketing new conditions, such as last year’s wildly popular “RLS – restless leg syndrome,” which returned millions more. They have finally come up with what they termed their “ideal drug”, one that treats nothing and has only side effects.
“This is a major breakthrough,” gushed Puppy Piper, head of marketing for Restless Leg Syndrome, “the list of side effects it creates is a gold mine for all the drugs we already have to treat side effects like infertility, short term memory loss, diarrhea and those goodies. It should create an infinite loop of prescriptions for drugs that create even more side effects. The market is going to look like piranhas on a feeding frenzy. This is great for the economy! What’s good for the drug companies is good for America, or at least for the America that consists of me. We just have to keep side effects from being called ‘front effects’ because… well, maybe we should add a new category. Sorry. I have to make a call…”
The company released a video of their new commercial, scheduled to launch later this month. I think. I have short term memory loss from taking it. Along with…. brb…
“It’ll be the first thing that I do. I’ll get our troops home, and bring an end to this war.” — Barack Obama, 10/27/07
THIS IS AN EDITORIAL I WROTE ALMOST TWO YEARS AGO BEFORE THE DEBT CEILING DEBATE
As President McCain Heads into His Second Year, What Might Have Been Different?
By Joe Bodolai (c) 2010, All rights reserved.
In the wee hours of election night 2008, the promise of change did indeed seem possible until Senator John McCain’s stunning last-minute surprise upset. While some were rightfully suspicious of the results, the McCain camp explained their triumph as “unpolled Americans came out in force and expressed their preference in the privacy of the poll booth rather than risk being called ‘racist’.
After President McCain’s first year, filled with angst, turmoil, and more of the same, I have decided to speculate on what America would be like today had Senator Obama won the election which so many assumed he would.
First of all, there is no way an Obama administration would have turned the economy into shambles with a massive bank bailout. ”His populist voter base would never stand for it,“ I wrote just a few short months ago. “Obama stands for change we can believe in, and this is far from it.” Senator Obama announced his alternative, which was greeted with huge enthusiasm, according to the 86% of Americans who “strongly approved” of his bold plan to pay off all consumer credit cards instead of money going directly to financial institutions.
His rousing speech at the Mall of America’s food court level with over 100,000 Minnesotans below him braving minus 23 temperatures and reminding Americans of the glory days of ”shopping. Not just for flat screen TVs or other necessities. My plan would relieve Americans of onerous debt while still providing lenders with plenty of profit and not to mention a real stimulus for consumers, with balances becoming zero balances, fresh new credit limits and rolled down interest rate caps to allow them to spend again, thus creating jobs for American workers, given my stipulation that all new credit card expenditures be spent within the United States for American cars, American products, and American vacation destinations.
Instead we have the McCain Administration’s failed “Cash for Clunkers” automobile buying incentive, which Senator Obama hilariously ridiculed on Late Night with David Letterman with his quip that “okay, I’ll admit the President did indeed give cash for clunkers, but those clunkers are the big banks and desperate failing automakers, lobbyists for special interest groups, and brokerage houses. Clunkers if I’ve ever seen one, and I should know. I drive a Pacer.” The video clip of Obama and Letterman driving around Wall Street and Harlem in the Pacer for the interview has been downloaded over 95 million times on YouTube.
Vice-President Palin, in one of her numerous gaffes since taking office, denounced Obama as “on the wrong side of the financial equation, like reparations for slavery there should be no free lunch!”
President McCain’s continuation of the Cheney-Bush foreign policy agenda is surely something that an Obama Administration would not accept. No Obama administration would consider sending more troops to Afghanistan such as President McCain has announced. While admitting “it takes some time to change the direction of a mighty cruise ship (but) I am committed to finalizing our presence in Iraq and Afghanistan and repairing our image with the rest of the world”. Likewise, President McCain’s continued unconditional support of Israel would be counter to a President Obama’s promise to strive for peace and a moratorium on settlements and saber-rattling toward Iran. McCain’s celebrated taunt to Iran regarding their supposed nuclear weapons program – “bring it on!” – would never be countenanced by a moderate Obama Administration where negotiation would be favored over confrontation.
Likewise, President McCain’s confusing health care initiatives, which are considered by most Obama supporters as more profit for the private sector, would never be tabled by an Obama administration. Obama won overwhelming praise for his much simpler, more clearly defined health care plan – “Medicare for All.” He won another huge swell of popular opinion by pointing out that the bonuses and salaries paid to 50% of the CEO’s of the largest pharmaceutical and health related industries would provide insurance for every man, woman, and child in the country while keeping their corporations profitable.
Democratic Senator John Conyers (D-Michigan) inadvertently aided the cause by being caught on tape aired on The Daily Show admitting that he had not even read the 1,000-page bill saying “who has time for that?” Stewart’s dry reply “I feel you bro.“ led to thousands of t-shirts, cardboard signs, and late night talk shows on an upswell of gratitude for a new catch phrase.
Of course, the scandal over the resignation of Vice-President Palin for her celebrated gaffes would never be made by the more experience Joe Biden. It is hard to imagine Biden saying something as stupid as Palin’s “send the homeless to Afghanistan. They need jobs. It’s a win-win.”
Finally, America today would not be so polarized. As 450,000 people marched on Washington last week, with countless taser arrests (15 of the 22 deaths attributed to controversial use of the 50,000-volt device, new weapons directed by SWAT teams to ”disperse unlawful assemblies“, aerial surveillance, and addition of thousands of innocent names to the ever-expanding terror watch list, Senator Obama said in his catalyzing speech at the Lincoln Memorial, “the First Amendment is the founding principle of the Bill of Rights and cannot be trampled by government. Behind me stands the symbol of the blood that was shed to keep this country free from all enemies, foreign or domestic.“ Clearly a President Obama would not approve the continuation of torture. The backdrop of the serene Lincoln was an ominous metaphor for the American divide, today not regional but along class and other lines.
Clearly had Senator Obama won the election, America would likely be a different, more benign place with a respect for the people and not for the oligarchy that the McCain Administration considers its constituency. And, as he promised in 2007, the wars would be over and the troops back home. And if you ask me “do I support the troops?” Yes, I do. The ones in the video below:
Video at poorrichard’s blog (http://poorrichards-blog.blogspot.com)
Are we living in an America not quite light and not yet dark? Are we in a “Twilight Zone” where one thing that looks different from the other but both are really the same?
Alas, in the words of the late Robert F. Kennedy, “there are those that look at things the way they are, and ask why? I dream of things that never were, and ask why not?”
“When Corporations Control Government, Sure It’s Fascism, But Fascists Are People Too!”
By Joe Bodolai © 2010, All rights reserve
UPDATE: Republican Presidential Candidate Mitt Romney Rumored to Be Considering Monsanto as Running Mate
The recent Supreme Court ruling giving corporations status as a ”person“ and the same “freedom of speech” (sic) rights as individuals and no limits on campaign spending, genetically-modified simulated food giant Monsanto has thrown its corporate hattage
the ring and declared itself and subsidiaries a candidate for the U.S. Senate seat in farm-rich Kansas.
Monsanto Senate Campaign spokesman Franklin N. Farmer finally revealed the company’s platform in this fall’s race for the U.S. Senate in Kansas. “It makes more sense, at least to those of us in the corporate world, than the (traditional fertilizer) coming out of individual politicians who are people and are costly and unreliable. Besides, we have some very attractive tax breaks. I mean, we don’t actually ‘pay’ taxes, so we can use that money where it does the most good — TV commercials done by our other friends who could use more tax breaks too.” When asked to explain the platform, Farmerino explained “I don’t know how to make it more clear than to say what people say when they have to say: “it is what it is.”
Here is what it is:
At Monsanto, we understand how to monetize dynamically. Without vertical extensible implementation, you will lack platforms. Think 60/24/7/365. Think C2B2B. Think sexy. But don’t think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that’s because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined? Think out-of-the-boxcutter. Think backward-compatible. Think virally-distributed, innovative. But don’t think all three at the same time.
The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based profitablity kickback.
Have you ever had to architect your 24/7 feature set? With one click? We will extend our aptitude to productize
without decreasing our power to actualize. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can synthesize faithfully will (one day) be able to upgrade fiercely. We will incubate the term “scalable”. We frequently morph value-added, intuitive paradigms. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term’s market!
There’s only one choice: Vote Monsanto. But even if you don’t, we will way outspend our opponent.”
Many more corporations are expected to announce their candidacy in coming days and, in the words of Monsanto’s Farmerino, “we have our corporate eyes on the White House in 2012. Sure we have a foothold now, but this is just the beginning of a great new era for America. It’s simple. Everybody eats what we make. You are what you eat. You children will made by us, so just call us Uncle Monsanto.”
By Joe Bodolai © 2011, All rights reserved
Mad Hatter Bachmann Outlines Foreign Policy in Response to Obama Corporate Video
Republican Tea Party Hostess Michelle Bachmann (hailed by the gals at Jezebel as “the Miles Davis of Idiocy”) extended her rhetorical pinky as she served up her social group’s serving of idea sandwiches with crusts cut off last night in response to President Obama’s waste of time platitude festival featuring a large cast of applauding extras, cost of which was apparently paid for by Israel and major banks. Bachmann, however, went into stomach-turning overdrive. She invoked the image of Marines hoisting the flag at Iwo Jima as somehow related to her self-image in what must truly be the delusional March Hare Madness playoff pukefest in the parking lot party in her head. As a public service, I have processed the image through the Say It Ain’t So, Joe! TruthMachine to more accurately visually represent her free-form jazzy smacked out Miles Davis idiocy:
My view on the state of the Obama Presidency are more thoroughly outlined from this article after his first year in office:
Note: I did not create the image above. It was sent to me with a series of found images. If anyone knows the creator, I wish to credit and thank her or him.
Pointless Sensational Headline Optimized for Search Terms, Explained Below
By Joe Bodolai © 2011, All rights reserved
I found out that I could see what search terms people used to find or happen across my blog. Surprisingly, it wasn’t “brilliant writing”, or “funny”, or “smart”. It was Snooki. Yes, people were on the prowl for something to read about the diminutive poofed guidette from a “reality” show called Jersey Shore. Immediately following in her spraytanned wake was the magnificent meatdress majesty of Lady Gaga, even more closely followed by those probing for TSA. I am not making this up. So I decided to combine this holy trinity of interest in things Say It Ain’t So, Joesian with my most popular subject, college football with a topping of always popular cheerleaders.
So, for those of you who have found your treasured word within, welcome. Unfortunately, I have no story or analysis to reward your googling or binging. Please feel free to combine these search terms in your imagination. Should this article somehow become my most read item, despite being empty of any insight, information, or entertainment, I will consider getting a lobotomy and dumbing down my life even more and apply for a job in internet SEO keyword marketing, or better yet, politics. Like the Obama Administration or the Tea Party, may you be rewarded with all sizzle, no steak.
In the meantime, should you have found your way here because you searched for me, I wish you a Happy New Year, filled with substance, joy, success, love, and peace for all.
Here are some of the articles that seemed to generate Snookified Gagalicious TSAhole probing during the past year:
What Republicans Don’t Want You to See
By Joe Bodolai © 2010, All rights reserved
Filmmaker Robert Greenwald was invited to testify before Congress about his research and experience in Iraq. He brought a short film. Republicans did not want it shown. This shocking clip shows the real corruption behind this evil war.
Visit his channel: Brave New Films at youtube.com/user/bravenewfilms
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