EXXON CEO: “STOP WHINING ABOUT GAS! PERFUME IS $25,000 A GALLON!
Says “Drivers Lucky Not Married to My Wife!
By Joe Bodolai © All rights reserved
While consumers fume over gas prices rising to record levels, oil industry spokesmen pointed out that there is little ire over perfume prices rising to over $25,000 a gallon. “Alfred Sung Eau de Parfum, the equivalent of Esso Plus (89 octane), is selling for $85.00 a quarter-ounce! This is gouging at the little pump!,” said Thad Hummer, new CEO of Exxon/Mobil. “And this is not even Premium perfume. It’s suitable for a mid-size woman. If you have the equivalent of an SUV or a luxury woman, say a trophy wife or a princess, or a mistress, you will be paying much much more. Gasoline is one of the world’s great bargains!”
Hummer also pointed out that the world’s most expensive perfume, Amouage is “off the freaking
charts when it comes to price.” The scent, limited to only 173 bottles by PPEC (the perfume producing export cartel) retails for approximately $106,700 a bottle, with two of the precious vials going to precious scent connoisseurs Mike Tyson and Michael Jackson. “That (stuff) will set you back more than $6 million a gallon! So if you want to whine about a buck a liter you can kiss my (ring)! We’re taking a bath selling you gas this cheap. The only way we can do it at this price is if you also buy the two-liter Pepsi and some engine cleaner. So next time you pull into the pump, fall to your knees and be thankful you are not married to my wife! She smells like Hesperia and jasmine with a hint of cinnamon!”