Home > Sports Comedy > RICH RODRIGUEZ INDUCTED INTO OHIO STATE FOOTBALL HALL OF FAME

RICH RODRIGUEZ INDUCTED INTO OHIO STATE FOOTBALL HALL OF FAME


RICH RODRIGUEZ INDUCTED INTO OHIO STATE FOOTBALL HALL OF FAME

By Joe Bodolai

In just his first two seasons at Michigan, Rich Rodriguez has enamored himself to Ohio State football fans to an unprecedented degree. After being named Ohio State’s MVP in last season’s 42-7 drubbing of the team from up north, his Wolverines lost yet again to the Buckeyes at home this year, with his protégé quarterback Tate “I Won’t Throw the Ball Away I’ll Forcier it into Triple Coverage“ coughing up five “sweeter than apple” turnovers.

For these and other accomplishments, Rodriguez was inducted into the Ohio State football Hall of Fame

“Rodriguez did a masterful job,” said Hall director Archie Griffin, “he inflicted more ignominy and pain on the entire state of Michigan in one season than even coach Tressel or Woody could ever do in just two seasons.” The 2008 defeat not only knocked Michigan out of a bowl game for the first time in 33 years, but by losing to the Buckeyes in ’08 (for the fifth time in a row) he consigned Michigan to the worst season in its over 100-year history. “The level of agony he inflicted on Michigan football is worthy of such a great honor and everyone in Ohio is thrilled with what he has brought to their program.”

The nine losses were the most ever endured by Michigan, and that accomplishment left Ohio State as one of only two teams to have never even had an eight loss season (the other being Tennessee).

Rodriguez delivered a typically short on content acceptance speech, filled with expletives and blaming his assistant coaches, the Lloyd Carr recruits, the media, and Tom Brady “for not being here when we need him.” Brady, of course, distanced himself from his alma mater recently by an insightful in-depth analysis of the team as “bad”.

Griffin took exception to those who criticized Rodriguez for telling fans to “get a life” by pointing out “they do have a life – a life of unrelenting agony, nightmares, humiliation, self-doubt, despair and, of course, a healthy dose of penis envy.”

“Anytime someone could inflict such great long-lasting agony on Michigan is deserving of Ohio State love,” added Griffin, “and we think Rodriguez is going to continue to do great things for Ohio State in the year he has left before he is fired.“


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