Home > Comedy and Satire > I’m Violating Federal Law by Bleaching My Bathtub!

I’m Violating Federal Law by Bleaching My Bathtub!


GOVERNMENT DECIDES HOW YOU CAN CLEAN

By Joe Bodolai © 2010 All rights reserved.

Don’t mess, I am a badass outlaw. Come on Elliot Ness, bring your G-Men into my bathroom. You got Dillinger but you ain’t gonna get me. I’m “Pretty Boy Joe”.  I’ll go down in a flurry of cleaning products before you take me out. I am violating federal law by using this product, bleach, “in a manner inconsistent with its labeling.” Boo yah sucka!

Oh yeah, it’s on! I have some rust stains in my tub and used household bleach to remove them. When I looked for “directions” (like I didn’t know that hydrochloric acid would smack the shit out of rust) I read “directions” that weren’t directions at all.

The “Directions for use“ on Clorox bleach read: ”It is a violation of federal law to use this product in a manner inconsistent with its labeling.” I am not making this up!

Its labeling is “Clorox”.

So I assume that is a verb. I Clorox, you Clorox, He She or it Cloroxes. We all  Clorox!

”I’m Cloroxing my tub to a gleaming white shine” to use the verb in a sentence.

When the hell was this bill passed? In the middle of the night again? Attached to a military appropriations bill for Israel? Congress checking out pix of Spitzer hookers or Foley boys?

Our government is already way too intrusive with tasers on stun for their amusement. They’ve already been in our bedrooms, but now our bathrooms? Does anybody remember the Bill of Rights? I bleach according to the tenets of my religion. Cleanliness, look it up. Right next to “godliness”.

Categories: Comedy and Satire
  1. No comments yet.
  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s