Home > Comedy and Satire, Sports Comedy > Cleveland Browns Sue NFL Over ”Hostile Work Environment“

Cleveland Browns Sue NFL Over ”Hostile Work Environment“


BROWNS SUE NFL OVER “HOSTILE WORK ENVIRONMENT”

 

By Joe Bodolai

 

The Cleveland Browns announced today that they are suing the National Football League for what they termed a “hostile work environment”. The Browns claimed that they were “constantly harassed and (even) physically assaulted” which prohibited them from “carrying out their task of scoring touchdowns”. Said owner Randy Lerner, “our job is simply to carry a football into the end zone and every time we attempt to perform our duties we are prevented from doing so by aggressive and downright abusive employees of our opponents.”

Citing what they termed as“assault“, Lerner claimed that NFL employees allegedly “manhandled” them and “physically prohibited us from carrying out our duties” with what Lerner termed “inappropriate touching.” This was compounded by “hostile verbal abuse” in which the stadium’s spectators allegedly made “demeaning comments containing profanity and stated repeatedly that we (inhale)”.

Paul Tagliabue, Commissioner of the National Football League, announced that it is “the league’s goal to provide a tolerant, equitable workplace” and claimed that the league is “well on its way” to ensuring that every team “will finish the season with the same number of wins and losses as every other team. We cannot and will not allow discrimination on the basis of things like talent.”

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