Home > Comedy and Satire > Pete Carroll Leaves USC for Seattle NFL Job

Pete Carroll Leaves USC for Seattle NFL Job


Some background on Pete Carroll reportedly taking NFL job in Seattle:

Court Disallows Motion to Sweep Illegal Sleaze Under the Illegal Rug in Reggie Bush’s Parents’ Illegal House

By Joe Bodolai

The Los Angeles Daily News has reported that Pete Carroll has accepted a job with the Seattle Seahawks, leaving behind his players, recruits and scandals for  a rumored $7 million annual salary.

ESPN previously reported that a California court has denied a request by Reggie Bush’s legal team for confidential arbitration in his dispute with the controversial sports agency that allegedly provided him and his parents a house, cash, gifts and other benefits that have been conservatively estimated in excess of $300,000. Not a bad haul for a college undergraduate and his array of off field gold bangles (formerly called ”bling“) explains why Bush was called a ”flashy“ running back.

The case will now proceed in open court. This time there was no ”Bush Push“ for a victory. Nor were Emerald Bowl officials involved in the ”review“ process.

Lloyd Lake and his partner Michael Michaels provided cash and gifts to the USC tailback, who some claim actually “won”  the Heisman Trophy over Vince Young, in order to sign him to their marketing firm, New Era. Brian Watkins, Lake’s attorney said this was Bush’s last-ditch attempt to keep the case out of the public eye.

Let the truthiness begin!

In a year of suspicion and setbacks for USC, this could be the opening of a Pandora’s Box for not only the football program but the entire university. The NCAA, which has been spinning its wheels investigating the Trojans for this and other apparent violations cannot ignore what surely will be a harsh light of truth on the soft-focus image Pete Carroll projects. It is also worth noting that ESPN and USC are business partners, as is seen in their website ”WeAreSC.com“. So, grain of salt recommended when watching ”the worldwide leader.“

It must cause some concern at USC that Bush’s illegal benefits (not criminal but a major violation of NCAA rules) are well in excess of salaries for many tenure track professors at the school. Of course, Pete Carroll earns more than entire departments, Nobel candidates, and research budgets with a salary of $4.4 million annually.

Geez, if the NCAA is gonna go hardass on Bush, Pete may have to buy his dreamboat Matt Barkley a house out of his own pocket. Maybe up there in Malibu where, in a real-life ”wtf“ moment, Charlie Weis said Pete’s “shacked up with a graduate student in Malibu.” While most people thought Weis was taking an uncalled for cheap shot at Carroll, experts (okay, just me) realized he was just protecting his coaching fraternity brother. Everybody knows Barkley’s not a graduate student!

Categories: Comedy and Satire
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