California Rejects “Same-Age” Marriage
Last-Minute Funding from “Botox Triangle” Swings Vote
By Joe Bodolai, © 2010 All rights reserved
Beverly Hills — Buoyed by a huge cash infusion and last minute television ads from a coalition of lawyers, agents, managers, aging real estate developers, producers and ”Oh you’re really a producer? producers“, California’s controversial Proposition 69 to allow ”same-age“ couples to marry was overwhelmingly defeated.
H. Hefner, a magazine publisher, said ”this is a big victory for marriage the way it is established and should be in California. Let’s all go down the waterslide!“
The vote was expected to be extremely close due to strong support in radical Orange County, Central Valley, and San Diego where couples seemingly only a few years apart openly flaunt their relationships without resistance.
The conservative bastions of Beverly Hills, Bel-Air, Brentwood, and Santa Monica, however, were rallied with strong funding and support from ”The Botox Triangle“, which included the Former Trophy Wives Association, Coalition of California Cougars, and The Arm Candy Movement, which all were overwhelmingly in support of “traditional marriage, SoCal style!”
Spokesman “Yuri” of the Producers Association of America said ”This is a great night for all of us with unwritten million dollar screenplays in ‘development’. We are always looking to audition young talent and now free to get in to bed with anyone who is right for my parts, I mean the part.“
Donna Skankler, spokesdigger for the “Anna Nicole Smith Coalition for California Marriage” said she had mixed feelings about the result, saying “I think there are probably cases where people of similar ages should be allowed to marry, but not if the husband is from a ‘financially undesirable’ group. After all, there are many men of all ages in this city who don’t even have a GPS in their car! I don’t want to complain about wide screen plasmas, but, 42? Come on! That’s in your third wife’s kids’ room! Most women like me find that extremely undesirable. Maybe we should discuss this at Koi! Have you met my friend Saphrina? You have an expense account? Oooh, that is sexy…“