Dos Equis Guy Named Summer’s Eve “Douche of the Year”
EDGES CAPTAIN MORGAN “CAPTAINS”, AND OLD SPICE GUY
By Joe Bodolai (c) All rights reserved
Winning a tsunami of votes, the bearded and creepy escort-loving Dos Equis guy was an easy winner of Summer’s Eve “Biggest Douche of the year. ”We’ll all be glad to flush this guy and his creepy hired friends out of our… important fun zones, hopefully once and for all,“ said Summer’s Eve Senior Bagologist Brandy “Piss ‘n Vinegar” Sprinklestein. The Bag of the Year, who, according to his hired voice-over’hole, has superpowers and an uncanny ability to make even battle-hardened viewers of reality TV feel gag reflexes, won a convincing victory over other contenders such as the Captain Morgan “captains’, who split their vote, and the Old Spice Guy whose vomitacious shirtlessness was not enough to topple the double X asswipe. As usual, Hall of Famers Glenn Beck and Karl Rove were not eligible having been enshrined in ceremonies held at the Douchebag Hall of Fame in Flushing, New York, several years ago.