Home > Comedy and Satire, Sports Comedy > Brothel Rebrands as Rehab Clinic to Treat Men Addicted to Lack Of Sex

Brothel Rebrands as Rehab Clinic to Treat Men Addicted to Lack Of Sex

Tiger Woods Addiction Sheds Light on Those Suffering Opposite Condition

By Joe Bodolai © 2010, All rights reserved

“These guys don’t get the attention of Tiger Woods, or the (slang for body part) he gets but they need help every bit as much for their opposite condition, an uncontrollable addiction to lack of sex,“ said Catherine ”Kitty“ Teit-Coslopus, Executive Director of the Promise Me Treatment Center in Malibu, California. ”Most of them can’t help it, and trust me, I’ve seen them, but we’re here to provide a helping hand and much much more.“

The recent health care debate (and numerous class action suits from lawyers)  prompted California to offer health insurance coverage to involuntary celibates with minimal co-pay and free choice of service provider. Some patients suffer from difficult oral or even anal conditions and the most severely addicted require treatment by multiple specialists.

If it weren’t for government funding, ”our treatment would be out of reach for the most seriously addicted,” added Ms. Teit-Coslopus.

“Now, thanks to the Spitzer Amendment, we’re covered,“ commented recovering addict Norbert G., 42, an amateur video gaming tester who lives with his mother in Tarzana, California. ”I’m going in for a 28 day rehab stint and, thanks to my mom and family who pulled off an intervention, I’m sure I’ll be on the road to recovery. I can see it coming.“

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