Home > Comedy and Satire > Say What? ACLU Applauds Supreme Court Decision Acknowledging Corporations’ Rights

Say What? ACLU Applauds Supreme Court Decision Acknowledging Corporations’ Rights


Not That ACLU, This One:

By Joe Bodolai © 2010, All rights reserved

“It’s been a long hard struggle but Hallelujah! Free at last! Free at Last,” said American Corporate Liberties Union spokesman Ken Lay. “Our ACLU applauds the Supreme Court for finally giving corporations the rights they have been so long denied.”

The decision now means corporations will have the same protection of speech that individual mere human beings have. “The freedom for corporations to spend as they wish for political ads will unlevel the playing field even more to where it belongs. Protecting corporate freedom of speech is something the Founding Fathers, like J.P. Morgan, Henry Ford, and John D. Rockefeller fought so hard for.”

”Free at Last!“ Said ACLU Spokesman Ken Lay about Supreme Court Ruling

Lay explained what the new decision might lead to. “First of all, elections will give us great Super Bowl ads pretty much all year around and who doesn’t like that? Remember that one with the cat roundup? Imagine that for Joe Lieberman. Or the hot GoDaddy ones for that hottie Scott Brown.”

Lay also pointed out that limits on political parties’ spending will still be in place, just not for corporations. “Now candidates who want the clout of cool multi-million dollar attack ads in high rotation know which side their Sarah Lee bread’s I Can’t Believe it’s Not Buttered on.”

Categories: Comedy and Satire

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