Home > Comedy and Satire > Shroud of Elvis Thought to Be Genuine By People Who Think So

Shroud of Elvis Thought to Be Genuine By People Who Think So

Bedsheet With King’s Likeness On Display From Good Friday Through Kickass Friday

The King of People Not Actually the King

By Joe Bodolai © 2011 All rights reserved

The controversial “Shroud of Elvis” will be exhibited at Elvis Presley’s home, Graceland, beginning today, Good Friday,for seven days until Kickass Friday, April 29th.Similar to the Shroud of Turin, which supposedly depicts the likeness of Jesus Christ, a popular religious figure, the Shroud of Elvis is imbued with the likeness of the King. “There is no doubt this is real,” said Jumbo Tuberville, curator of the Elvis Museum and Bait Shop. ”The King had enough Dilaudid and Twinkies in his system to sweat his portrait onto the sheet. The chemicals in his body just fused with the polyester, man. Sweet!“

The shroud is expected to draw over one million visitors more than the Shroud of Turin, which dates from the Middle Ages or maybe fifty years ago and is being exhibited in order to deflect attention from the widespread pedophilia scandal involving the Pope and countless priests, but doubtfully this guy:

A Pilgrim to Graceland Ponders the Shroud and Deep Fried Twinkies

The Catholic Church and Graceland have refused to comment when asked if displaying the Shroud was an attempt to revitalize both Catholicism and interest in Elvis as a response to the rise of the world’s preeminent spiritual leader, Lady Gaga.

Categories: Comedy and Satire
  1. Alan Cabal
    April 2, 2010 at 3:03 pm

    Make fun of Jesus if you want to, but be careful what you say about The King.

  2. April 2, 2010 at 3:04 pm

    Very funny. Thanks.

  3. Eric Vaughan
    April 3, 2010 at 2:15 am

    How can the shroud of Elvis Aron Presley be real if he’s not dead?

  4. Bywater Bone Boys N.O.La.
    April 4, 2010 at 4:24 pm

    The Shroud of Turin is the most examined piece of fabric in human history with literally millions of dollars spent in attempts at a determination of its identity. A recently released (2009) computer analysis and 3-D translation has been attained impossible with even holographic images. One scientist in Italy said that it was “like the soul of a man burned through the fabric” leaving only an image on cloth unlike any other ever found. Props always to Memphis & Lisa Marie. That’s Alright, Baby Let’s Play House. Thank you, thank you very much.

  5. OsXiong
    April 4, 2010 at 4:46 pm

    Is this confirmed or sanctioned by the Presleyterians?

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