Alien Admits: “We Live Among You!”
Several Prominent Aliens Announce: “Time to Stop Hiding”
By Joe Bodolai (c) 2010, All rights reserved
Zontar, Thing from Venus, admitted to Say It Ain’t So, Joe! reporters today that he, and many other aliens are living on earth undetected. “My earth name may be Amy Winehouse, but I am really from a dive bar on the Venus equivalent of Buffalo.“
When reports leaked that Thing from Venus confessed, numerous other aliens also spoke up. ”It’s time we stopped the charade,“ said Angelyne, whose alien name was revealed to be Morp Flepnop. ”I’ve been spying on earth in earthly form with a realistic (sic) human body but I have also disguised myself as a billboard on Sunset Boulevard.“
When asked about her alien name, Flepnop replied ”on my planet Moop Flepnop is the equivalent of your ‘Dave’.“
Other aliens who have come forth include Glipfung J. Fuppletit (aka “Snooki”) who said “I was wondering how long it would take for my unearthly orange skin and the black fern fronds growing from my cranial surface would be cause for your suspicion. Ironically, I do love Nati Lite.”
Aliens have been particularly successful at disguising themselves as “celebrities” on reality shows, said Vupflargo Bellyputz (aka “Bruce Jenner”) “After all, our appearance is reality showlike and is unnoticed by anyone with an IQ under 80. There are others who have not come out, it added, “but I think if you look for signs such as oversized plush Milky Way asses and an overabundance of annoying space lichens, which appear to be body hair. Others of us should be easy to spot. We often live among you as real housewives with simulated protoplasm so real it’s actually an otherworldly gel of hormones, pig semen, and the meconium of the Sacred Infants of Beetelgeuse, it cryptically concluded.
More revelations are due to come in the following days. Stay tuned to Say It Ain’t So, Joe! for more on this breaking story.
BREAKING! Suspected Synthete Heidi Montag” body analysis revealed to be 96% synthetic materials 4% sodium benzoate added as preservative. .
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