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News From Next Week
by Joe Bodolai (c) 2010, All rights reserved
- Alien Made Entirely of Collagen Discovered in Beverly Hills
- Rumors Swirl that Tom Cruise is Straight
- Can’t Multitask? Movie Lovers Watch Other Movies on iPads While At the Movies
- Goldman Sachs Throws Themselves on Mercy of the Court, along with $100 Million Bribe
- Prestigious National Whore Institute Names Ke$ha “Pop Whore Role Model of the Year”
- Related: Tens of Ke$ha Fans Rally to Protest “Having to Hit the Fuckin’ $hift Key!”
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