Home > Comedy and Satire, Politics, Social and Political Satire, Social Issues > THIS JUST IN: Joe Bodolai Secedes From Union! Copyrights Self!

THIS JUST IN: Joe Bodolai Secedes From Union! Copyrights Self!

By Joe Bodolai (c) 2010 All rights reserved, especially you America

“When voting makes no difference and oligarchs in service of a foreign power continue to defraud and rob the country, I can no longer be part of it,” said Joe Bodolai, author of this sentence you are currently reading. His brief but incredibly powerful chick magnet-like address on the steps of the Santa Monica Public Library was done without teleprompters and not with notes written on his hand.” I seek not conflict, but to end it and I hereby declare my sovereign territory extending to the fullest and exaggerationist outer boundaries of my body in whatever location I happen to be in, even if part of me is in someone else.”

He immediately copyrighted himself and his life and maintained “The United States will be in violation of that copyright should they use my name or images without the express written consent of Major League Baseball or myself on any document, such as tax or census forms  I can assure you they will be met with the full fury of a team of C-average or better law students.”

The entire nation of Joe Bodolai turned out for the country’s first Presidential election with Joe Bodolai winning 100% of the vote. He was inaugurated in a brief ceremony at a local Starbucks where he pledged to end his country’s 100% unemployment rate.

  1. Grandaffia Canard
    April 28, 2010 at 12:42 pm

    Sir, you have re-inspired the nation, which had almost expired before this momentous event. Those who know you are in awe of your magnetic powers, but we implore to beware of the consequences of being seduced. We have learned that some of those comely ladies can act quite sovereignly and declare war on your ass if you ever, ever double cross their borders.

  2. April 28, 2010 at 4:09 pm

    Thank you for your comments. You may be assured that President Bodolai is seeking the most cordial relations with all peoples of the Hot Girl Nations. While some of these overtures have not led to fruition he and his advisor are optimistic that negotiations will be concluded successfully for both parties as he intends to build a coalition of the willing. In his most recent statement I, um, he said “we hope that we can come together on many issues as we create ever-growing interest in deepening our relations.”

  3. Daniel Goldberg
    April 30, 2010 at 12:22 pm

    A bold move — now you can ask the U.S. for foreign aid. I’m sure a nation your size is good for 2 or 3 mil.

  4. Sophie Sachs
    June 9, 2010 at 8:18 pm

    Joe B.
    Again I laughed out loud, alone in front of my computer. You continue to outdo yourself which I assume is the objective.

    I wonder where you are…


    • June 14, 2010 at 12:09 pm

      Thanks Sophie. I am on a fact-finding mission to foreign countries, meaning the world outside of my self. Glad you laughed.

      • Sophie Sachs
        June 28, 2010 at 6:24 pm

        Where are you? I want to know that you are okay.

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