“Blowout Jesus”: World’s Largest Christ Figure For New TCU Stadium

“Holy S*%t!” Exclaims Mike Leach “That’s One Mother of a Super Savior!”

By Joe Bodolai (c) 2010, All rights reserved

Take that Notre Dame: Private Boxes in the Giant JesusDome Highlight New TCU Stadium

Texas Christian University today announced that their new stadium will include “Blowout Jesus”,  the world’s largest stone apparent likeness of Jesus Christ, a popular though unphotographed religious figure. The statue, measuring 1.65 humongousnesses, “blows the holy doors off Notre Dame’s little mosaic and should impress the bejeezus out of the BCS,” explained TCU BCS Derriere Suction Director Cornelius “Skip” Yates . “We don’t just call ours “touchdown Jesus”, this is a freakin’ Blowout Jesus! It’s gonna unleash a plague of horned frog 47-7 style points on visiting teams like we do every week.” Colorful and doughy retired coach and rumored ESPN analyst Mike Leach added “The BCS voters gotta love it. The computers won’t until computers learn how to love.”

New stadium construction will commence with the end of the home schedule and feature a “9/11 style controlled demolition” to implode the West Grandstand, which will fall onto its footprint. “We were gonna have a plane crash into it but we didn’t need to go to all that trouble since our funding came through anyway. Hey, nobody gets hurt and we get some first class private boxes. That’s what America’s all about these days,” added Yates.

Boise State University , also seeking BCS recognition, released a weekly statement to remind everyone of their blue turf.

  1. November 11, 2010 at 2:55 pm

    When I saw the picture I thought it was the fictional Tolkien character Aragorn, aka King Elessar Telcontar, aka Strider. Good thing the title and article cleared up my misunderstanding.

  2. Vinve Mayfield
    December 18, 2010 at 7:44 pm

    TCU is NOT Notre Dame and never will be. At least they could be original and “blowout Jesus” sounds awfully childish. Remember horned frogs, the Irish didn’t name their mosaic, a sportswriter did. This does look like something out of a Lord of the Rings movie.

  3. Jack
    December 18, 2011 at 7:17 pm

    You people know that this is fake, right??? Really, a “9-11 style demolition”…idiots.

  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: