“Blowout Jesus”: World’s Largest Christ Figure For New TCU Stadium
“Holy S*%t!” Exclaims Mike Leach “That’s One Mother of a Super Savior!”
By Joe Bodolai (c) 2010, All rights reserved
Texas Christian University today announced that their new stadium will include “Blowout Jesus”, the world’s largest stone apparent likeness of Jesus Christ, a popular though unphotographed religious figure. The statue, measuring 1.65 humongousnesses, “blows the holy doors off Notre Dame’s little mosaic and should impress the bejeezus out of the BCS,” explained TCU BCS Derriere Suction Director Cornelius “Skip” Yates . “We don’t just call ours “touchdown Jesus”, this is a freakin’ Blowout Jesus! It’s gonna unleash a plague of horned frog 47-7 style points on visiting teams like we do every week.” Colorful and doughy retired coach and rumored ESPN analyst Mike Leach added “The BCS voters gotta love it. The computers won’t until computers learn how to love.”
New stadium construction will commence with the end of the home schedule and feature a “9/11 style controlled demolition” to implode the West Grandstand, which will fall onto its footprint. “We were gonna have a plane crash into it but we didn’t need to go to all that trouble since our funding came through anyway. Hey, nobody gets hurt and we get some first class private boxes. That’s what America’s all about these days,” added Yates.
Boise State University , also seeking BCS recognition, released a weekly statement to remind everyone of their blue turf.
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