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Larry King’s College Football Big Winner of the Weekend: “Goyse State”

Live From Nate & Al’s

By Larry King © 2010, Joe Bodolai. All rights reserved

Larry Kitbitzking with a Young Fan

(Note: I was unable to watch any games Saturday since I was in Topanga Canyon at a sacred vegan tie-dye candlemaking sweat lodge unicycle juggling and poker tournament so my buddy Larry King covered the action for me.)

Forget "Beamer Ball", Gimme Matzoh Ball

Say, that Boise State team can really play football – and on the shabbas! I call ‘em “Goyse State”, but with that many potatoes in Idaho you think they’d make latkes… I never saw so many big shabbas goys on an O-line since Sid Luckman won the Heisman… Oregon only scored 15? That’s John Mayer at a Grammys afterparty. They got more uniforms than conjoined twins have resentments. Shoulda stopped modeling and got ‘em dirty… For my money, when you talk soup you talk matzoh… Cam Newton sure is giving Auburn a lotta bang for their buck… He cost less than half what Reggie Bush did… When it comes to value, you can’t beat that 79¢ corn dog at Wienerschnitzel… Speaking of corn dogs, Iowa got spayed by Northwestern like a poodle at a free clinic… That microchip implanting is a good idea. How else can we find Texas in the polls?… My pal Joe Paterno didn’t get win 401 yesterday but he’s still got his 401k… Nice kid, that Paterno… TCU got outscored 21-6 in the second half. Shoulda resurrected their offense… TCU and Boise complain about the polls more than Hitler in 1939…Speaking of whine, I still can’t understand that Beaujolais nouveau. It’s like eating the cucumber instead of a good garlic dill… At least that’s what one of my last three or four wives said about having sex with me… I gotta remember to ask her what she meant when I remember which one she was… Only one word for fiber: kasha. More roughage than the chunks of Indiana’s defense in Wisconsin’s cleats running up 83 points. They remind me of that great University of Chicago team that won the Big Ten a while back… Could use some of that “SEC speed” right now. Cam Newton was dishing it out like a crystal meth dealer at a circuit party…. Overrated? Honey Nut Cheerios. Underrated? Adult Depends. Need ‘em when you’re talkin’ Runny Butt Cheerios. Don’t say I didn’t tell you: Watch your “best before” date on your milk. Gotta go…


  1. DG
    November 14, 2010 at 10:02 pm

    Hahahahaha!!! Move over Chris Berman, everyone’s favorite dinosaur is after your job!

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