Snooki: The Oil Slick in the Hot Tub
It’s Over” — Nostradamus
By Joe Bodolai (c) 2011, All rights reserved
A week or so ago, I happened by the Barnes and Noble store at the Grove in Los Angeles, a faux urban streetscape of a mall, to find a huge queue to attend the bookstore’s “
moving your lips while reading series.” The author that evening was none other than the Jane Austen of The Hot Tub herself, Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi. The crowd was there to hear her first-person author’s insights about her hairball of keystrokage by a poor ghost-typist “novel”, A Shore Thing. Perhaps this roman a clef could provide loyal viewers of her smoosh-and-puke reality series, Jersey Shore, some valuable insights gossip about the weltanschaung hookups of her Algonquin Round Table STD-Infested Hot Tub companions, Pauly D, J bowWoww, and Mike not “The Situation” Room, the Mr.Darcy of the Abmaster. I have no idea what discourse transpired, but happily there was a Bath & BodyWorks nearby for emergency spray tan needs and, in my case, shower gel.
In related news, Cheney Administration spokesman George W. Bush commented on Snooki’s novel adding “I’ll be about ready to barrel on into that as soon as I finish up My Pet Goat.”
There is really nothing I need to say about the state of American mass culture today. This picture says more than I ever could. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll just go to the library. You know that place, the Book Museum? It’s where the homeless go to take a dump and poor people still go to rent VHS copies of Die Hard III. At least there I can get WiFi at the attractive price of relative quiet and an effluviance of urban odors.
THIS JUST IN: Snooki to Host White House Correspondents’ Dinner!
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