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Did Rupert Murdoch Hire A Pie Thrower on Craigslist?

July 19, 2011 2 comments

Rebekah Brooks Joins Evil Wizard Murdoch Cast in New “Masters of the Dark Arts”

By Joe Bodolai (c) All rights reserved.

In case you missed it, a guy with the hitman worthy name “Johnnie Marbles” struck Rupert Murdoch with a pie earlier today in the phone hacking inquiry in London.

This came just after the whistleblower, Sean Hoare, was found dead and Scotland Yard declared it “not suspicious”, which is of course the definition of suspicious.

Scotland Yard's Claim That Sean Hoare's Death is "No Suspicious" on My BS Meter

It is by no means a stretch of the imagination to think that the Murdoch media empire knows how to manipulate news, create it, and flat out make it up. We’ve seen and often enjoyed that in News of the World and despise it on Fox News (sic). I am sure there is a #pie thread going on Twitter right now. So as I was scouring the world’s Craigslist ads for a non-intern job I would not have been surprised to have come across this listing in the London “creative gigs” section. Is it the smoking pie?

CLICK ON IMAGE TO VIEW FULL SIZE

I will say this, he does get an awful lot of stuff for his reel. Meals, copy, and credit.

In related news, Rebekah Brooks has reportedly accepted an offer to star in the next blockbuster wizard movie series as an evil witch who reads the minds of dead people’s relatives and laughs at them.

Image courtesy kimberlyg5404 All rights reserved Follow her on Twitter

The “Tupac of Terror”: Osama Bin Laden Drops Another Joint! New Video

May 2, 2011 2 comments

Osama Bin Laden Still Dead Again as Americans Celebrate USA! USA!!

By Joe Bodolai, © 2011, All Rights Reserved

Note: Portions May Be Redacted in Interests of Something or Someone

The CIA and Neocons Evil Muslim Hot Chick Hating Terrorists need to keep the myth of Osama Bin Laden alive to fuel fear of terrorism and lubricate war fever and the abrogation of civil rights in the USA. They have relied on updated but outdated “Osama bin Laden” videos to aid their cause, and since the real Bin Laden (a former CIA operative and US ally not to mention associates of the Bush family) has been dead for years, they need some new lookalikes. Their campaign of fake and cheesy chilling videos seems to have hit a new low frightening tone with this one. Like I said, the video Pentagon analysis suggests that the lookalike actor bin Laden displayed all the amateurish sophisticated mannerisms of an audition tape and bad lighting complete with the usual ridiculously outdated references
up to the minute clues in the fifth grader incoherent babble sophisticated rhetoric that only a total lameass or attentive WalMart shopper trained intelligence analyst could recognize as a total pile of crap frightening call to action that deserved gales of laughter and ridicule urgent military response and security measures such as admitting that the war on terror is a sham standing together taking off our belts for TSA tightening our belts and dropping our pants and bending over renewing our wars everywhere with an idiotic and murderous shotgun approach with a precise asswipe of a plan designed by our military strategic experts roomful of chimpanzees.

The official version includes a photo of the White House War Room that some say has been Photoshopped for those Americans who have no idea what our real leaders look like:

The Fantasy Team Drafted by Obama

Since the real ex-CIA employee Osama bin Laden died several years ago, they have been looking for doubles to appear in their fake “terror” videos. Looks like they’re scraping the bottom of the barrel judging by this posting on barrel scrapings site Craigslist.

Click on picture to enlarge.

Desperate CIA Ad Posted Today on Craigslist

Bin Laden was apparently killed in a raid ordered by President Barack Obama in what anonymous White House sources like me said was a “stroke of luck.” The anonymous really smart source said “the President starts each day with a huge shit serious reflection on the nation’s needs and checking White Sox box scores calling on our military to stop bugging him about veterans’ health care “get bin Laden” but this morning he almost forgot.” Luckily, the source said, “Michelle his people in Israel jokingly suggested ordered him to “you really oughta get some more good press bin Laden because even after the White House Correspondents Dinner rise, your approval rating is down America needs closure from Donald Trump hair jokes.”

In a remarkable plan by the CIA coincidence, the assassination of bin Laden was “live Tweeted” by a CIA plant simple Pakistani IT technician named “Dave” whose Twitter CIA handle is @ReallyVirtual. He has since signed an “earwitness Live Tweeting” deal with online gossip site TMZ and is reportedly working “the Lohan beat” hoping for some “coke use or hot lesbian sex.”

The bin Laden lookalike patsy feared ultra-terrorist was reportedly fooled by a crack shot Delta Force or now Navy SEAL sniper posing as late arriving hummus delivery man as he was about to launch his latest devious plan watch “Glee”. Also found in the compound bachelor pad were the latest in suicide bomber devices a shitload of porn mags. Evidence that he was planning to release an even newer tape included the latest terrorist video Rebecca Black’s “Friday” and the even more deadly poison “Jam” by Kim Kardashian.

The anonymous Navy SEAL sniper who shot bin Laden in the eye said he learned his marksmanship skills from watching porn.

After DNA was verified by comparing it with bin Laden’s sister’s DNA CIA employee file, the body was buried “according to bullshit passed off as Muslim custom” at sea along with Donald Trump’s 2012 Presidential bid. Former Cheney Administration Spokeshole George W. Bush, in a Sober Somber Moment upon hearing of “the whole Osama deal” renewed his 9-11 vow to “finish reading My Pet Goat.

Like this? Say so. Or say it ain’t so Joe! Links to the right for more satire, sports, pop culture, and comedy.

British Tribal Leaders Expand Gene Pool in Bizarre Mating Ceremony

April 29, 2011 5 comments

Guest List Includes “Sophie, Cuntess of Wessex”

By Joe Bodolai (c) 2011, All rights reserved.

Leaders of the once nomadic Saxe-Coburg and Gotha clan gathered in London today, joined by leaders of many of the the world’s other tribes, to wear their once-a-year jewelry stored in vaults in order to qualify for their tax deductions as “work apparel.” The little known deduction is a massive financial benefit as it transfers the taxes and most of the wealth of their “subjects” directly to them, an annual windfall of billions of pounds sterling, euros, land, and dead foxes. The festivities were highlighted by a lavish public display of ritual pre-coital foofoofery intended to stiffen more than the upper lips of the besieged tribe, desperately in need of stiffening of its weakening DNA strands. As the events are still unfolding, Say It Ain’t So, Joe! provides readers with some fast facts to annoy as much as inform:

Kate Middleton Appears To Realize that Her Childhood Dream of Becoming a Princess Comes with Oddly Dressed Idiots Controlling Her Life and Toilet Habits

Some facts:

The American equivalent of the British term “commoners” is “Kardashians”.

SAY IT AIN’T SO JOE! POLL: 96% of British Gays Would Choose to Replace House of Windsor with Haus of Gaga

Prince Harry Vows to Fulfill Role as Backup Heir by Getting Hammered and Nailing Hot Chicks

Many Americans With Sufficient Inbreeding Lack Income to move from status as “white trash hillbillies” to “your royal highness”.

Unlike the Marriage of Diana and Prince Charles, the Royal Family Cited “Sacrifice in Difficult Times” and Did Not Engage the Services of the Royal Hymen Inspector. Possibly Also Because He Was Found to be “Less Than Totally Gay”

The guest below shows that the parties would be enlivened by the usual Royal Festive bunch, especially the notorious Sophie of Wessex. Her reputation precedes her in this typo she will never live down but likely now richly deserves. “Sophie, Cuntess of Wessex.”

Always Fun When Drunk, Princess Sophie was Expected to the Source of Many a Charming Anecdote

The day was not without tragedy, however, as the Daily Mail Copy Editor, responsible for the above schedule of events, was tragically killed in a mysterious high speed car crash in a Parisian tunnel.

Oh, by the way, While we were busy watching the ceremonies, the UK Government quietly announced a 37% cut in NHS funding.

"I'm not wearing underwear"

Pope “Joey Ratz” Responds to Arrest of Pedophile Pedophilia Advisor, Forgives Self, Pedophiles

April 17, 2011 4 comments

Two Hail Marys “Oughta Cover It” and “Don’t Sweat the Rapture” Says Oddly Dressed Unmarried Ex-Nazi.

By Joe Bodolai (c) 2011, All rights reserved

Joey Ratz Working His Popely Magic

May 26,2001- Father Riccardo Seppia, a 51 year-old parish priest in the village of Sastri Ponente, near Genoa, was arrested last Friday on pedophilia and drugs charges. Investigators say that in tapped mobile phone conversations Seppia asked a Moroccan drug dealer to arrange sexual encounters with young and vulnerable boys. “I do not want 16-year-old boys, but younger. Fourteen-year-olds are OK. Look for needy boys, who have family issues,” he allegedly said. Genoa Archbishop Angelo Bagnasco, who is also head of the Italian Bishops Conference, had been working with Benedict to establish a tough new worldwide policy released this week on how bishops should handle accusations of priestly sex abuse. Bagnasco said when he met the Pope this weekend he “asked for a particular blessing for my archdiocese,” in light of the accused crimes, adding that “like every father toward a son (feels) great pain in seeing a priest who is not faithful to his vocation.”
“[The investigators] made us listen to that man saying terrifying things about our children. Things so terrible that I cannot repeat them,” a father of one of the boys said. — translated from La Stampa

Proclaiming himself “super holy”, Joe Ratzinger (aka “the Pope”) emerged from a Vatican confessional sauna today and claims he has “forgiven” himself for what he referred to as “so-called sins” and also forgave all priests and other church officials accused of child molestation. “Nothing like the Rapture happened so I took care of you there. Some people might see all this forgiving as damage control,” said the former Nazi Youth, “but first there has to be damage. Anyway, I gave myself and the guys a round of Hail Marys, and you know if I bring Mary into this, and she is a virgin, that’s proof of no diddling boys. This whole mess is due to the clever homosexual children because the little lambs got flocked by the Shepherd which proves they were not victims,” he “explained.” The official Vatican press release, published in High Pig Latin, entitled Uckfay Uyay, continued: ” as a bonus, I threw in forgiving the Beatles and, I’m offering 50% off for all school groups to visit the Shroud of Turin for Christ’s sake. We’re also selling Abbey Road in the Vatican gift shop now cheaper than iTunes, use code veni vidi vici This is what makes the Catholic Church such a great donation value. Remember, omnes gallia est divisa en tres partes. When questioned about his infallibility at a special Palm Sunday brunch at the Palm Restaurant at Vatican Citywalk , the Pope blamed his streak of incorrectly picking the last 45 Super Bowl winners on “Satan and the bloggers.”Dominus frickin’ vobiscum! I gotta go. Chris Hansen’s in the gift shop. Oh, and to by the way, no, I do not consider my outfits ‘super gay.”

“What profit has not that fable of Christ brought us!”
Pope Leo X (As attributed by John Bale, Bishop of Ossory, in The Pageant of Popes, p. 179, 1574)

“I am surrounded by priests who repeat incessantly that their kingdom is not of this world, and yet they lay their hands on everything they can get.” — Napoleon Bonaparte

Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest.
~ Denis Diderot

All great truths begin as blasphemies.
~ George Bernard Shaw

Argentum Duram Et Majoram — Latinish for “Hard Cash is Best”, Motto of All Churches Everywhere

American Twilight Zone: What if Obama Had Won the Election?

March 20, 2011 3 comments

“It’ll be the first thing that I do. I’ll get our troops home, and bring an end to this war.” — Barack Obama, 10/27/07

THIS IS AN EDITORIAL I WROTE ALMOST TWO YEARS AGO BEFORE THE DEBT CEILING DEBATE

As President McCain Heads into His Second Year, What Might Have Been Different?

By Joe Bodolai (c) 2010, All rights reserved.

In the wee hours of election night 2008, the promise of change did indeed seem possible until Senator John McCain’s stunning last-minute surprise upset. While some were rightfully suspicious of the results, the McCain camp explained their triumph as “unpolled Americans came out in force and expressed their preference in the privacy of the poll booth rather than risk being called ‘racist’.

After President McCain’s first year, filled with angst, turmoil, and more of the same, I have decided to speculate on what America would be like today had Senator Obama won the election which so many assumed he would.

First of all, there is no way an Obama administration would have turned the economy into shambles with a massive bank bailout. ”His populist voter base would never stand for it,“ I wrote just a few short months ago. “Obama stands for change we can believe in, and this is far from it.” Senator Obama announced his alternative, which was greeted with huge enthusiasm, according to the 86% of Americans who “strongly approved” of his bold plan to pay off all consumer credit cards instead of money going directly to financial institutions.

His rousing speech at the Mall of America’s food court level with over 100,000 Minnesotans below him braving minus 23 temperatures and reminding Americans of the glory days of ”shopping. Not just for flat screen TVs or other necessities. My plan would relieve Americans of onerous debt while still providing lenders with plenty of profit and not to mention a real stimulus for consumers, with balances becoming zero balances, fresh new credit limits and rolled down interest rate caps to allow them to spend again, thus creating jobs for American workers, given my stipulation that all new credit card expenditures be spent within the United States for American cars, American products, and American vacation destinations.

Instead we have the McCain Administration’s failed “Cash for Clunkers” automobile buying incentive, which Senator Obama hilariously ridiculed on Late Night with David Letterman with his quip that “okay, I’ll admit the President did indeed give cash for clunkers, but those clunkers are the big banks and desperate failing automakers, lobbyists for special interest groups, and brokerage houses. Clunkers if I’ve ever seen one, and I should know. I drive a Pacer.” The video clip of Obama and Letterman driving around Wall Street and Harlem in the Pacer for the interview has been downloaded over 95 million times on YouTube.

Vice-President Palin, in one of her numerous gaffes since taking office, denounced Obama as “on the wrong side of the financial equation, like reparations for slavery there should be no free lunch!”

President McCain’s continuation of the Cheney-Bush foreign policy agenda is surely something that an Obama Administration would not accept. No Obama administration would consider sending more troops to Afghanistan such as President McCain has announced. While admitting “it takes some time to change the direction of a mighty cruise ship (but) I am committed to finalizing our presence in Iraq and Afghanistan and repairing our image with the rest of the world”. Likewise, President McCain’s continued unconditional support of Israel would be counter to a President Obama’s promise to strive for peace and a moratorium on settlements and saber-rattling toward Iran. McCain’s celebrated taunt to Iran regarding their supposed nuclear weapons program – “bring it on!” – would never be countenanced by a moderate Obama Administration where negotiation would be favored over confrontation.

Likewise, President McCain’s confusing health care initiatives, which are considered by most Obama supporters as more profit for the private sector, would never be tabled by an Obama administration. Obama won overwhelming praise for his much simpler, more clearly defined health care plan – “Medicare for All.” He won another huge swell of popular opinion by pointing out that the bonuses and salaries paid to 50% of the CEO’s of the largest pharmaceutical and health related industries would provide insurance for every man, woman, and child in the country while keeping their corporations profitable.

Democratic Senator John Conyers (D-Michigan) inadvertently aided the cause by being caught on tape aired on The Daily Show admitting that he had not even read the 1,000-page bill saying “who has time for that?” Stewart’s dry reply “I feel you bro.“ led to thousands of t-shirts, cardboard signs, and late night talk shows on an upswell of gratitude for a new catch phrase.

Of course, the scandal over the resignation of Vice-President Palin for her celebrated gaffes would never be made by the more experience Joe Biden. It is hard to imagine Biden saying something as stupid as Palin’s “send the homeless to Afghanistan. They need jobs. It’s a win-win.”

Finally, America today would not be so polarized. As 450,000 people marched on Washington last week, with countless taser arrests (15 of the 22 deaths attributed to controversial use of the 50,000-volt device, new weapons directed by SWAT teams to ”disperse unlawful assemblies“, aerial surveillance, and addition of thousands of innocent names to the ever-expanding terror watch list, Senator Obama said in his catalyzing speech at the Lincoln Memorial, “the First Amendment is the founding principle of the Bill of Rights and cannot be trampled by government. Behind me stands the symbol of the blood that was shed to keep this country free from all enemies, foreign or domestic.“ Clearly a President Obama would not approve the continuation of torture. The backdrop of the serene Lincoln was an ominous metaphor for the American divide, today not regional but along class and other lines.

Clearly had Senator Obama won the election, America would likely be a different, more benign place with a respect for the people and not for the oligarchy that the McCain Administration considers its constituency. And, as he promised in 2007, the wars would be over and the troops back home. And if you ask me “do I support the troops?” Yes, I do. The ones in the video below:

Video at poorrichard’s blog (http://poorrichards-blog.blogspot.com)

Are we living in an America not quite light and not yet dark? Are we in a “Twilight Zone” where one thing that looks different from the other but both are really the same?

Alas, in the words of the late Robert F. Kennedy, “there are those that look at things the way they are, and ask why? I dream of things that never were, and ask why not?”

SECOND BY SECOND COUNTER ON THE COST OF WAR

Joe Bodolai© Secedes from Union, Copyrights Self

February 23, 2011 3 comments

By Joe Bodolai (c) 2011 All rights reserved, especially from you America

“When voting makes no difference and oligarchs in service of a foreign power or greedy private interests continue to defraud and rob the country, I can no longer be part of it,” said Joe Bodolai, author of this sentence you are currently reading, in really serious-sounding wording. His brief but incredibly powerful chick magnet-like address on the steps of the Santa Monica Public Library was done without teleprompters and not with notes written on his hand.” I seek not conflict, but to end it and I hereby declare my sovereign territory extending to the fullest and exaggerationist outer boundaries of my body in whatever location I happen to be in, even if part of me is in someone else.”

Thousands of Americans Also Leaving USA, Welcomed by New Nation of Joe Bodolai

He immediately copyrighted himself and his life and maintained “The United States will be in violation of that copyright should they use my name or images without the express written consent of Major League Baseball or myself on any document, such as tax or census forms or envelopes or even email spam  I can assure you they will be met with the full fury of a team of C-average or better law students I have hired as interns from craigslist who will go all RIAA on their ass.”

“I have attempted conciliation with the US, but they have rejected talks.” Bodolai blamed the lack of response, returned phone calls, or other reaction to his numerous emails to friends or prospective American employers as “obvious attempts by the universe to isolate me from the family of nations or any other family,” but denied that his secession was involuntary. “I may be involuntarily retired, along with other former Americans, but, like them, I will not passively accept their government’s attempts to force us into abject poverty or subjugation. And, as a resolute Ohio State fan, I say, “On Wisconsin!”, Bodolai added, “and should they choose to join me as independent and sovereign, I will immediately dispatch myself as Ambassador to Ian’s Pizza in Madison, who provided much needed delicious world-famous mac & cheese pizza for the protesters there.”

Shortly after, the entire nation of Joe Bodolai turned out for the country’s first Presidential election with Joe Bodolai winning 100% of the vote. He was inaugurated in a brief ceremony at a local Starbucks where he pledged to end his country’s 100% unemployment rate.

Seeing World Events Through Celebrity Tweets

February 12, 2011 1 comment

“freedom is what it’s all about!!!” So…what about Israel? ?

By Joe Bodolai (c) 2011, All rights reserved.

One thing about American life today is that when world events unfold faster than Gap customers at a sale, our celebrities will be there to keep it all in perspective with their analysis especially on Twitter.  When regime change in Egypt was happening the big names swung into action, and I immediately joined the conversation:

My Reply to Lindsay Lohan's Inspired Celebrity Political Insight refers to...?

Immediately after I replied to her, Lindsay realized she might seem a tad shallow and posted this:

Lindsay Lohan: Congratulations to the people of Egypt. Your voices were heard and you proved that peaceful demonstrations are possible and effective …. x… And I pray Egypt maintains it’s treaty with Israel and sets the trend for its neighbors to create peace with Israel and the entire region.

I guess she decided that I was somehow referring to her hope that Egypt would “maintain it’s (sic) treaty with Israel” and “set a trend.” The world needs new “trends”. I guess she has something in common with Israel: theft! (necklaces, Gaza, West Bank… that kind of stuff. Oh, and one of them has nuclear weapons, also stolen. Think Congress minds?) If this seems like a non-sequitur to you, I can’t think of Egypt today without thinking of Israel. And our “experts” (the not-hot people on news channels) applaud the Egyptian military for taking Lindsay’s advice. They will “honor” the treaty. Plus ca change….

Noticing this intellectual forum was being noticed by the masses of even MTV viewers, a pair of big guns came out, Kim Kardashian:

Kim Kardashian: What a historic day for Egypt! The people of Egypt made the regime step down!!! Now they can enjoy the freedom they deserve!

Party time in Egypt!!! It’s a three exclamation mark political thingy!!!I am so pro-freedom!!!!

All this week, we will be treated to late night talk shows as one after another of our great political analyst/partay realityshow people will announce “I just wanna say this about what went down over there in Egypt…” Audiences will hush for the momentous decree… “freedom is what it’s all about.” Cue applause, grave appreciative expression from host, or maybe throw to commercial with a solemn “we’ll be right back,” as if the celebrity’s dictum just spiked the ball in the end zone of injustice. Celebrities who are famous for no discernible talent or moral notoriety seem to have replaced traditional spiritual leaders such as churches and religion for those who find the traditional conduits to higher wisdom irrelevant, out of touch, or plain ass-whacked. In the aftermath of the Japan earthquake, I saw this invocation of St. Kim of Kardashian in this young woman’s tweet to her:

Aftermath of Tragedy Brings Prayers to Patron Saint of Depilatories

Of course, some celebrities had far more urgent concerns and immediately provided relief, such as 50-Cent who reminded us he would assist with a massive airlift:

Rapper Provides Hope for Shaken Hoes

This kind of says how I feel right now:

Oh, and don’t forget that I have a new email address. It’s one that I think really expresses my uniqueness, artistic vision, and my concern for others:

someguyatstarbucks@me.com

It’s real. Go ahead and email me. I’ll email you back. Promise.

 

Tiny-Island-Invading Ignorant Burger-Loving iPhone Thieves

January 29, 2011 3 comments

In Which I Find Out Yet More Depressing Stuff About America

By Joe Bodolai © 2011, All rights reserved.

On my way to the homeless restrooms, or as I used to call it, “the Los Angeles Central library”, I was listening to yet another

Grenadan Communist Enslaving Mediocre U.S. Medical Students Finally Stopped by Heroic U.S.Invasion

podcast of WBEZ Chicago’s CBC-Radio style program This American Life on my new iPhone. The show included documenting the weapons-grade bullshit foisted on fifth graders visiting the Reagan Library, one perhaps in which the homeless do not feel as welcome as they might in the comfortable crack den appointed facilities on Flower Street, conveniently located just blocks from Skid Row. The excrementality of the Reagan docent included making sure the visiting students knew that the invasion of the tiny island of Grenada[1] under The Great Man’s Commander-in-Chiefiness was to prevent an unholy communist alliance in our own hemisphere – Grenada, Cuba, and Nicaragua (!) – teaming up to invade the USA and turn children just like them into evil communist slaves. “In communism, when you have a job,” she rhetorically asks, “who gets to keep the money?” Apparently, “the communists” do. Since it was previously recorded, I was unable to ask, “in America, if you don’t have a job, who gets to keep the money?” That’s easy.  “The Americans do.” Wall Street, bankers, and other thieves and criminals like the guy who stole my iPhone that I used to listen to this show. I suspect it was the Marseilles-style pickpocket who jostled me then quickly disappeared into the bustling commerce of Guatemala City North on 6th & Wilshire as I was in line to board the rolling virus and spewed-menudo can called the 720 bus.

For the better part of my life, having the equivalent of a new iPhone was just something normal. No worry about the expense, it was just another Apple gadget I might have adopted early with the passion of an Angelina Jolie. Now, however, jobless and pretty close to homeless these days, the handheld computer/entertainment center which had bonus telephonic capability was my connection to the professional middle class world that seemed so far away. (I’m aware that I still have my computer, email, the internet, and this blog to feel part of the world, but with no internet access where I supposedly “live”, and, for those of you who also like to feel part of the larger world, it’s my own private Idahell, a Pelican Bay on info lockdown.)

Have You Seen My iPhone? It Looks Like This, but With Way Cooler Apps

Later, iBereft, I was seated at a counter in the library café, where next to me two gentlemen have come into a conversation over their own iPhones. After exchanging the usual verbal business cards (much like dogs sniffing each other in the…. park) and the establishment of each other’s 16 or 32-giggishness and 3G/iPhone 4 cred, the subject of one man’s accent is finally broached. Now the accent in question was not the speech and accent so common to the mouth-breathingly stupid of the guy in the sagging bizarre-brand jeans, the SouthPole wearing, tatted-up Lakers Fan but the accent of the other guy, who looked and dressed like Eminem and spoke with a French accent. It was, in fact, a Belgian accent. What follows is a word-for-wordish account of some of their conversation:

Lakers Fan: What kind of accent is that?

Belgian Guy: Me? I am from Belgium.

Lakers Fan: No shit. What you doing up here?

(NOTE: “Up here?” Where exactly does he think Belgium is?)

Belgian Guy: I am with my girlfriend. We are visiting.

Lakers Fan: From Belgian (sic)?

Belgian Guy: Yes. It is very nice. Warm. Where I am from it is rain and cold.

Lakers Fan: So what language you speak over there?

Belgian Guy: Where I am from we speak French.

Lakers Fan: Oh, you French?

Belgian Guy: Belgian. I am from Belgium.

Lakers Fan: And you speak French too. Cool.  I got some Spanish but don’t talk it. You speak Spanish too[2]?

Belgian Guy: I am learning. My girlfriend, she is Spanish.

Lakers Fan: Mexican chicks are hot.

Belgian Guy: I meet her on a beach. Very warm. 30 degrees.

Lakers Fan: Excuse me?

Belgian Guy: Very warm. 30 degrees hot.

Lakers Fan: Mine’s hot too. Let me ask you something, okay? I seen on TV that over there French people don’t say “quarter pounder with cheese”. Right?

Belgian Guy: I do not understand.

Lakers Fan: McDonalds. You know. McDonalds. Quarter pounder.

Belgian Guy: Yes, McDonalds.

Lakers Fan: You say a “Royale with cheese”. Like they showed on TV.

Belgian Guy: Excuse me?

Lakers Fan: At McDonalds.

Belgian Guy: Yes, McDonalds.

Lakers Fan: You don’t say “quarter pounder with cheese”?

Belgian Guy: No, I do not think so.

Lakers Fan:  You say “Royale with cheese”. The metric system?

Belgian Guy: Ah, yes.

Lakers Fan: So let me ask you something then.

Belgian Guy: Yes.

Lakers Fan: How do you know you’re actually getting a quarter pounder?

Aside from the fact that this snippet of reality reveals the same kind of immediate distrust of anything foreign and flat out

Average Wall Street Bonus Paid: $430,000. Imagine if they actually did something productive!

revelry in ignorance shown by the Reagan Library tour guide, the thing that really galled me was simply – this guy had an iPhone and I didn’t!  I asked him “how do you like your iPhone?” It’s awesome, yadda yadda doo. He could get me one too. He knows a guy, the guy he took his to, who could hook me up, jailbreak one for me. He gets them all the time. “Where’d you get yours?” I asked. You guessed it: he stole it!

The average “bonus” paid to Wall Street bankers last year was $430,000. I’m sure they all have iPhones too.


[1] The invasion of this tiny island was perhaps the last great United States military victory, a “five-star resort of a war”, code named “Operation Urgent Fury” and relates in this context to the homeless library patrons’ rush for the entrance immediately upon opening.

[2] Perhaps the man assumes that, like Los Angeles, Belgium is also full of Mexicans like everywhere else on earth. Or possibly that Belgium is actually in Mexico.

For another look at chronic ignorance and blathering philistinism unmasked go to Townie Planet.

Tea Party’s Mad Hatter Serves Up Idiot Sandwich

January 25, 2011 1 comment

By Joe Bodolai © 2011, All rights reserved

Mad Hatter Bachmann Outlines Foreign Policy in Response to Obama Corporate Video

Republican Tea Party Hostess Michelle Bachmann (hailed by the gals at Jezebel as “the Miles Davis of Idiocy”)  extended her rhetorical pinky as she served up her social group’s serving of idea sandwiches with crusts cut off last night in response to President Obama’s waste of time platitude festival featuring a large cast of applauding extras, cost of which was apparently paid for by Israel and major banks. Bachmann, however, went into stomach-turning overdrive. She invoked the image of Marines hoisting the flag at Iwo Jima as somehow related to her self-image in what must truly be the delusional March Hare Madness playoff pukefest in the parking lot party in her head. As a public service, I have processed the image through the Say It Ain’t So, Joe! TruthMachine to more accurately visually represent her free-form jazzy smacked out Miles Davis idiocy:

AIPAC Foreign Policy to Provide Jobs for U.S., McRibs for McWorld

My view on the state of the Obama Presidency are more thoroughly outlined from this article after his first year in office:

“What if Obama Had Won the Election?”

Note: I did not create the image above. It was sent to me with a series of found images. If anyone knows the creator, I wish to credit and thank her or him.

Torture? Murder? Is This The America We Want in the World?

January 23, 2011 2 comments

Treatment of Detainees No Different Than the Worst of Totalitarian Dictators. Do We Need to Do This?

By Joe Bodolai (c) 2011, All rights reserved

Reality Commemorating America

I saw the article quoted below on CNN this morning. It’s been no surprise to me and the image above is something I wanted to point out since the postage rate was 37 cents back in the Bush Administration:

Washington (CNN) — New documents obtained by the American Civil Liberties Union show “unjustified homicide” of detainees and concerns about the condition of confinement in U.S.-run prisons in Iraq, Afghanistan and Guantanamo Bay, according to the ACLU.
Thousands of documents detailing the deaths of 190 U.S. detainees were released by the ACLU on Friday. The U.S. military gave the ACLU the documents earlier in the week as a result of a Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) lawsuit filed by the rights group.
Among the documents are autopsy reports and military investigations, including 25 to 30 cases the ACLU says it believes are “unjustified homicide.” Some of the homicides in the documents are widely known and have been reported in the media, such as the case of four Iraqi detainees executed by a group of U.S. soldiers and then pushed into a Baghdad canal in 2007.

Okay. That says “homicide”! Enough already. President Obama has not changed anything in this regard from the Bush Administration. Do you think the guy you voted for won the election? I’m not so sure. I wrote the article at the link below a year after his inauguration. Things have only gotten worse.

What if Obama Had Won the Election?

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