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Posts Tagged ‘Lady Gaga’

I’m Sure I Speak for Lady Gaga and We Say: Be The Best Possible Version of Yourself.

May 21, 2011 1 comment

Suggestion in Above Headline May be Provided for My Entertainment

By Joe Bodolai © 2011, All rights reserved (except those owned by the video creators below)

Most Questions About the Universe Finally Cleared Up in Gaga Video

I admire Lady Gaga for her gagalosity, the amazing fearless personal dedication to the expression of the personal fearlessness that defies categorization and is so fearlessly personal in such a personal way… so fearlessly. She’s gagalicious. Her recent appearance to champion gay rights was done in the Pope’s back yard, and I truly do consider her a world spiritual leader.

The world is full of people expressing themselves in such idiosyncratic deeply individual ways that makes me realize we are all like fingerprints and snowflakes. You can not be duplicated; neither can the moment that goes by in which you are not yourself. Many artists find the confidence to unleash their personal wtf-ness only later in life; some blossom with the carefree confidence of the naïve. Some, like Michael Jackson or some teen stars, display enough confidence and commitment in presenting themselves early in life but become marionettes of commercial culture. Some later become controlled by financial decisions rather than the mysterious emotional and creative often unconscious lunges that speak no language but their own. Some never get the chance. Others let it pass by without knowing. Not all of this originality is great art, nor always even entertaining, but maybe it provides a singular spiritual purpose that it is not for us to know. It may speak from a place above the material and while Lady Gaga’s ideogrammatic characterizations are in step with the commercial, they are also very personal. I am not kidding when I refer to her as a “world spiritual leader”. I think I can speak for her when I say to those of you who speak your own language, leave your own fingerprints at the scene of your own crime, we love you. Which is why I love her.

Be the best possible version of yourself.

The videos below are two examples of what I mean about finding voices outside of the mainstream. Each is beyond easy articulation. Just flat out leave you speechless or “gaga”. First is a courageous, original, and funny comedy troupe from Norway. Comedian Jesper Odelsberg and his troupe: New Wheels on the Block, letting us know his balls are okay. He’s on the right track baby, he was born this way.

His Wheelchair is a Sex Machine!

The family below is European, I think. And from earth. I think. They have no self-consciousness about expressing their desire and divinely inspired determination to alleviate their collective bedwetting. The little kid brings the R&B funk to the funky bedclothes and the women of the family may or may not moonlight as Amish hookers. I hope you will sing “ain’t gonna pee-pee” aloud as you go on your way today.nkies

The Funky Bedwetter feat. the Amish Hookers



You may laugh at, you may laugh with, but just laugh so you can feel it.

When I talk about Lady Gaga’s originality, it has nothing to do with taste, or being “derivative of Madonna” or being in mainstream pop music. (Toronto artist Jana Sterback created a meat dress at the Art Gallery of Ontario in the early 70s, by the way.) Costumes are not who she is, but don’t discount the message she sends with what she wears. Some are bullied for what they wear and she sends a message to stand out. She is a major pop artist, with major talent, but she is a conceptual artist and moral force to me. A victim of bullying herself, she speaks for diversity, acceptance, choice, and respect and anyone whose bad romance can turn into a kickass dance groove. Right now, I’m just celebrating all those who gain the confidence from her to be themselves. The person you are best at being is you. Oh, and I have taken the liberty of speaking for Lady Gaga before, if you caught that irony, right here. She’s kinda busy being the she that she is.

Be Yourself, Be Your Own DNA-mazing!

Real artistic statement, even when wildly commercially successful such as Lady Gaga, can be a moral statement. I personally believe that Satire Can Help Make Evil a Bit More Uncool

For a long, casual and revealing interview with Lady Gaga, here is a link to her appearance at Google.

British Tribal Leaders Expand Gene Pool in Bizarre Mating Ceremony

April 29, 2011 5 comments

Guest List Includes “Sophie, Cuntess of Wessex”

By Joe Bodolai (c) 2011, All rights reserved.

Leaders of the once nomadic Saxe-Coburg and Gotha clan gathered in London today, joined by leaders of many of the the world’s other tribes, to wear their once-a-year jewelry stored in vaults in order to qualify for their tax deductions as “work apparel.” The little known deduction is a massive financial benefit as it transfers the taxes and most of the wealth of their “subjects” directly to them, an annual windfall of billions of pounds sterling, euros, land, and dead foxes. The festivities were highlighted by a lavish public display of ritual pre-coital foofoofery intended to stiffen more than the upper lips of the besieged tribe, desperately in need of stiffening of its weakening DNA strands. As the events are still unfolding, Say It Ain’t So, Joe! provides readers with some fast facts to annoy as much as inform:

Kate Middleton Appears To Realize that Her Childhood Dream of Becoming a Princess Comes with Oddly Dressed Idiots Controlling Her Life and Toilet Habits

Some facts:

The American equivalent of the British term “commoners” is “Kardashians”.

SAY IT AIN’T SO JOE! POLL: 96% of British Gays Would Choose to Replace House of Windsor with Haus of Gaga

Prince Harry Vows to Fulfill Role as Backup Heir by Getting Hammered and Nailing Hot Chicks

Many Americans With Sufficient Inbreeding Lack Income to move from status as “white trash hillbillies” to “your royal highness”.

Unlike the Marriage of Diana and Prince Charles, the Royal Family Cited “Sacrifice in Difficult Times” and Did Not Engage the Services of the Royal Hymen Inspector. Possibly Also Because He Was Found to be “Less Than Totally Gay”

The guest below shows that the parties would be enlivened by the usual Royal Festive bunch, especially the notorious Sophie of Wessex. Her reputation precedes her in this typo she will never live down but likely now richly deserves. “Sophie, Cuntess of Wessex.”

Always Fun When Drunk, Princess Sophie was Expected to the Source of Many a Charming Anecdote

The day was not without tragedy, however, as the Daily Mail Copy Editor, responsible for the above schedule of events, was tragically killed in a mysterious high speed car crash in a Parisian tunnel.

Oh, by the way, While we were busy watching the ceremonies, the UK Government quietly announced a 37% cut in NHS funding.

"I'm not wearing underwear"

The Insanity of Kardashianity, Random Thoughts on a Devolving Culture

March 2, 2011 2 comments

The Following Sentences May be Read in Any Order as Homage to Larry King

By Joe Bodolai (c) 2011, All rights reserved

With Larry King’s departure from cable news and his entry into standup comedy, I will try to fill the void left by him as a columnist with randomness with some unresolved anger and whole bunch of  bewilderment.

If you’re following the “royal” wedding, help me out: what’s the income threshold where we stop calling inbreds “hillbillies” and have to say “your royal highness?”…I don’t know what I’d call her if I met her but you can’t go wrong with “Miss Gaga.” … She might just “bring a little too much gun for the hunt”… Gay guys: should I go with “Joe Fierce” or “Johnny Flawless?”… I’ve pretty much narrowed my options of avoiding homelessness to “marrying well”… Question for the ladies: After Patrick Swayze’s death, do you find yourself using your potter’s wheel a bit less?… I think I’m at that “awkward age”: I don’t feel old enough to hit on the mother, but don’t like

Women Using Potters Wheels Less Since Swayze Death

that “dirty old man” look for hitting on the daughter… Is it just me or does it seem like Pig Latin is a dead language too?… Hey, Department of Agriculture! I haven’t grown canola in years. Where’s my subsidy?… If you own the bait house on “To Catch a Predator”, does your real estate value go up or down?… Things Rihanna told me: “there’s a subtle difference being between being hit and hit on… You heard it here first: someday a focus group will win a screenwriting award… Those French doctors should be okay. They’re not Doctors without Barnes & Noble… Can’t help but wonder: what if the word “God” in the Bible is a typo?… “Oh my Gord?” Sure changes orgasms… I wish you would have told me: “Glee” is a comedy?… A. “never”. Q. When will the world have enough cat videos? … Definition of “gay”? an enigma wrapped in a Balenciaga… I think if Jeopardy wanted the humans to beat the computer, they

Most Questions About the Universe Finally Cleared Up in Gaga Video

would have used a Dell… Do zombies ever use the term “life of the party?”… If it were a sport: Madonna couldn’t carry Gaga’s jock…Try to say something bad about it: bacon…I don’t need to ask her: Snooki doesn’t have a “favorite Jane Austen novel.”… Hey eBay! Where is all the vintage Washington Generals memorabilia?… Guys, always a good excuse: “I just got outta the pool!”… They beat me to it: breast milk ice cream…. Miss Nicki Minaj: You may call it “Super Bass”, but the really smart people know you mean “Superb Ass”… You may not admit it but it’s true: some stock photo chicks are hot!… Who knew? The “A” in “A&E” used to stand for “”Arts”… Why has there never been a Pope named “Mel?”… Have to pass on “I Am Number Four”. I never saw “I Am Number Three”… You’re too old for show biz when: you think “Swifty” means Lazar not Taylor… Put this in the column marked “true”: nobody hot rides the bus…. Is it just me or is “afterparty” a little too close to “afterbirth”? … Religion can’t answer it: “who let the dogs out?”… I sometimes I wish I were rich enough to have my assets frozen – and topped with

Inflatable Semi-Sentient Polypropelene

whipped cream… I’m just keeping it real: 2011 Maybach smell like money to me lol, But ain’t shit unless equipped with Sleek by 50…. Rhetorical questions: Is the bear Catholic? Does the Pope shit in the woods?…. Was the Crucifixion just a “near death experience?” From what I read, dude was fine three days later… Maybe that’s why the Pope says the Jews didn’t “kill” Jesus. Soap operas do it all the time…I’m thinking of becoming a freestyle MC and bringin’ my mad flow to somewhere it will be appreciated… online… Brittney: “flash mob” is a group, not an item on your “to-do” list… Don’t ask me to invest in it: “Penis Reduction Clinic”… Do clowns drive those really tiny cars to compensate for their huge penises?…  And to end this on a serious analytical note about the state of semi-sentient meconium that is American mass culture today: After hearing her “song” released today, I am convinced that Kim Kardashian is either a slimy lump of infectious polypropelene and oily hair or a mentally deficient trained seal controlled by chimpanzees. Watching reality TV or even CNN means the terrorists have won.

THIS JUST IN: Rolling Stone now relaunches as cageliner housebreaking material — Snooki on the cover. Disturbance in the Force reported as Hendrix, Lennon, Cobain, Joplin spin in graves.

READ MORE ARTICLES FROM THE LIST TO THE RIGHT AND/OR FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER

Seeing World Events Through Celebrity Tweets

February 12, 2011 1 comment

“freedom is what it’s all about!!!” So…what about Israel? ?

By Joe Bodolai (c) 2011, All rights reserved.

One thing about American life today is that when world events unfold faster than Gap customers at a sale, our celebrities will be there to keep it all in perspective with their analysis especially on Twitter.  When regime change in Egypt was happening the big names swung into action, and I immediately joined the conversation:

My Reply to Lindsay Lohan's Inspired Celebrity Political Insight refers to...?

Immediately after I replied to her, Lindsay realized she might seem a tad shallow and posted this:

Lindsay Lohan: Congratulations to the people of Egypt. Your voices were heard and you proved that peaceful demonstrations are possible and effective …. x… And I pray Egypt maintains it’s treaty with Israel and sets the trend for its neighbors to create peace with Israel and the entire region.

I guess she decided that I was somehow referring to her hope that Egypt would “maintain it’s (sic) treaty with Israel” and “set a trend.” The world needs new “trends”. I guess she has something in common with Israel: theft! (necklaces, Gaza, West Bank… that kind of stuff. Oh, and one of them has nuclear weapons, also stolen. Think Congress minds?) If this seems like a non-sequitur to you, I can’t think of Egypt today without thinking of Israel. And our “experts” (the not-hot people on news channels) applaud the Egyptian military for taking Lindsay’s advice. They will “honor” the treaty. Plus ca change….

Noticing this intellectual forum was being noticed by the masses of even MTV viewers, a pair of big guns came out, Kim Kardashian:

Kim Kardashian: What a historic day for Egypt! The people of Egypt made the regime step down!!! Now they can enjoy the freedom they deserve!

Party time in Egypt!!! It’s a three exclamation mark political thingy!!!I am so pro-freedom!!!!

All this week, we will be treated to late night talk shows as one after another of our great political analyst/partay realityshow people will announce “I just wanna say this about what went down over there in Egypt…” Audiences will hush for the momentous decree… “freedom is what it’s all about.” Cue applause, grave appreciative expression from host, or maybe throw to commercial with a solemn “we’ll be right back,” as if the celebrity’s dictum just spiked the ball in the end zone of injustice. Celebrities who are famous for no discernible talent or moral notoriety seem to have replaced traditional spiritual leaders such as churches and religion for those who find the traditional conduits to higher wisdom irrelevant, out of touch, or plain ass-whacked. In the aftermath of the Japan earthquake, I saw this invocation of St. Kim of Kardashian in this young woman’s tweet to her:

Aftermath of Tragedy Brings Prayers to Patron Saint of Depilatories

Of course, some celebrities had far more urgent concerns and immediately provided relief, such as 50-Cent who reminded us he would assist with a massive airlift:

Rapper Provides Hope for Shaken Hoes

This kind of says how I feel right now:

Oh, and don’t forget that I have a new email address. It’s one that I think really expresses my uniqueness, artistic vision, and my concern for others:

someguyatstarbucks@me.com

It’s real. Go ahead and email me. I’ll email you back. Promise.

 

Does Twitter Reveal Your Personality?

January 22, 2011 3 comments

Unfortunately, It Probably Does. And I Hate Way Too Many People Now.

By Joe Bodolai (c) 2011, All rights reserved

First it was email, then the Nigerian email scammers found me looking for apartments. Now I am followed on Twitter only by people trying to sell me crap or tell me I can “speak to Lady Gaga” (no kidding) if I just click on their links. Aside from the obvious spammers there are now lots of self-involved people on Twitter. What a bunch of pseudo witty, self-important assholes. And now one of them is me.I simply had to take to the Twittersphere to announce this moments after I heard the news:

Or maybe I just have a lot of old people as friends...

Twitter, for those of you who don’t know or care, is a messaging method whereby anyone can post messages up to 140 characters in length. (I pride myself in messages of exactly 140 characters in length). As you may have read here from me earlier, it’s now possible to read Twitter versions of great novels.

Not a Reason to Kill Myself, Just Aim Lower, A Lot Lower

I heard Snooki’s new novel was coming to Twitter but to save the trouble of clicking on anything else, here’s an excerpt from her novel, which, amazingly, is identical to an excerpt from her navel:

“Yum. Johnny Hulk tasted like fresh gorilla.”

“Any juicehead will get some nut shrinkage. And bacne. They fly into a ‘roid rage, it is a ‘road’ ‘roid rage.”

The delightful alliteration of “road ‘roid rage” must have delighted this novelist’s novel writer in a delightfully delightful way. I hope she explained it to Snooki after the pint-sized poofed putain got released from jail for her latest drunken bush-in-the bush bushcapade. (Don’t worry if you don’t understand it. You’d have to actually watch Jersey Shore and endure an hour of holding in your vomit. Thankfully, I don’t have to. My friends, the gals at Jezebel will break it down for you and much more.)

You can learn a lot about people by reading their “tweets” (god, the word disgusts me just to type it, let alone say it). If you can, then I think I really can live without ever meeting Judd Apatow. He’s the director of the 90-Minutes of dick jokes and two minutes of comedy in Funny People and apparently had Steve Carrell write The 40 Year-old Virgin “with” him (I would say “for” him but you already know that. ) He was tweeting like a mother*&#@er during The Golden Globes in a masterful ass-covering unfunny namedropping glibfest in which he let us know, should important people be offended, that he didn’t like Ricky Gervais either:

Get it?

And, since he was hosting the PGA (Producers Guild Awards) it was important for him to note that he is, in all likelihood, available to direct.

Judd Apatow Shows His Auteur Side

Remember, Judd Apatow is a Hollywood big shot, and, in case you didn’t know, gets “tweeted” by “stars”, such as last year’s Preakness Winner, Khloe Lardasshian:

Judd Apatow Knows Celebrities!

Stablemate sister and more visibly endowed Kim must have seen it and had to hipcheck little sister out of the way with her hockey padded ass to give us this fustercluck of celebritage in a lethal dose of Apatow-Kardashian-Bieberocity. Feel merely mortal yet?

You Can Read This But Stay Behind My Imaginary Velvet Rope Losers!

Well, I don’t follow only celebritards. I follow other cool people like @RosanneCash, @SusanOrlean, @AndyKindler, along with really funny and smart Canadians @someMarkFarrell and @ScottFeschuk, and a few people who you might also want to check out –like somebody I discovered during the Golden Globes, Suzy Soro under the name @hotcomestodie and finally, don’t miss, jokemachine @BrentPiaskoski. Tell me these aren’t funny quick reads:

And I paid full price the day before!

One I Wish I Had Thought of And I Haven

But if you think smart people I admire aren’t above a little self-serving tweetage either, the great real novelist Margaret Atwood offered this:

Margaret, I Didn't Know You Went to Harvard! You don't say!

Now following individuals on Twitter is, I guess, okay and you could have some sort of excuse for that. But following corporations? What kind of pathetic lackey of our sad sick culture are you to need instant tweets from The Gap or Starbucks? WTF do you want to know? Okay, I understand if you’re like me and it’s important:

I

Okay, go check out Brent and Suzy. They’re funny. And you will have fun following people you may think you know in a new “I think I know them” way. Oh, damn. I forgot to mention the search terms: TSA, college football, naked, cheerleaders, and… oh, I did mention Snooki and Lady Gaga. It’s second nature now. Now click on links to the right and read about Sarah below:

Categories: Comedy and Satire

Lady Gaga a Hermaphrodite? Let’s Ask TSA!

November 21, 2010 Leave a comment

By Joe Bodolai (c) 2010, All rights reserved

Ambigutastic!

Sometimes seemingly random associations given to us by the world may hold the answer to those troubling

What You Searched For Last Week to Find Say It Ain't So, Joe!

questions. For those millions of you curious about Lady Gaga’s ladyality, here’s a simple way to get to the nuts and bolts of it. Just ask TSA! Your own search queries here show you’re way ahead of me.

Okay, so nobody found me by searching for “clever funny writing”, “erudite Joycean analysis”, or “he hate Boise State”. Fine. To make your Gagalicious/TSA search mashup, here you go…

Lady Gaga: “I’m Not A Hermaphrodite, But That Would Be Cool!”

TSA Introduces New “Hot or Not” Naked Body Scanners


Letterman Doesn’t Ask: Lady Gaga Admits “I’m Not a Hermaphrodite but That Would be Cool!”

September 19, 2010 8 comments

“Madonna Can’t Carry Lady Gaga’s Jock!” — Joe Bodolai”

By Joe Bodolai (c) 2010, All rights reserved

Forget comparing Lady Gaga to Madonna, even if you mean the BVM and not the pop star. Gagaloo lands a swift kick to the nutsacks who are freaked out by those who challenge old school female role models. Like the new wave of female comedy stars and styles, such as the hit Bridesmaids, she proves women don’t need balls to be ballsy. Her recent appearance with David Letterman did not dispel any of the rumours surrounding her as she ate the host’s notes and questions. So, in an exclusive interview with me, despite rumours to the contrary, World Spiritual Leader Lady Gaga denied that she was a hermaphrodite in an interview I claim was with fellow near-hermaphrodite Barbara Walters. Say It Ain’t So, Joe! Executive Editor Joe Bodolai explained her explanation on his imaginary nationally-televised current affairs program “What They Meant to Say Even if They Didn’t Actually Say It.”

Meat and Two Veg AND a Spicy Taco?

“Gaga meant to say “I know people think I’m packing meat and two veg AND a big taco, which would be so truthy and artsy! So if they think it, it can be true. I empower my little monsters’ minds in a sexy, androgynous, way and the bullies are scared of her, I mean me…oh just watch her, I mean, my videos…”, articulated Bodolai. “Having sex organs of both popular kinds has its ups and downs and ins and outs,” she would have continued. “The reality of having a pathetically undersized penis combined with huge flappy labia would be the worst of both worlds… in reality I mean. But for me, it’s cool! I have a chance to win more awards, like Best Male Vocalist, Best Female Vocalist, and, of course, “Best Male AND Female Vocalist”. Besides, if people tell me to “go fuck myself”, I actually can!”

ON ANOTHER NOTE: While it may appear that by making fun of some of the media sensations that Lady Gaga has been in the midst of, there is no doubt that she is a major talent, a truly important spiritual voice for equality, acceptance, and diversity. In the clip at the link below, she reveals how she was bullied in high school and how that has influenced her songwriting. A true major talent:

Lady Gaga Recalls Being Bullied

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