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I’m Sure I Speak for Lady Gaga and We Say: Be The Best Possible Version of Yourself.

May 21, 2011 1 comment

Suggestion in Above Headline May be Provided for My Entertainment

By Joe Bodolai © 2011, All rights reserved (except those owned by the video creators below)

Most Questions About the Universe Finally Cleared Up in Gaga Video

I admire Lady Gaga for her gagalosity, the amazing fearless personal dedication to the expression of the personal fearlessness that defies categorization and is so fearlessly personal in such a personal way… so fearlessly. She’s gagalicious. Her recent appearance to champion gay rights was done in the Pope’s back yard, and I truly do consider her a world spiritual leader.

The world is full of people expressing themselves in such idiosyncratic deeply individual ways that makes me realize we are all like fingerprints and snowflakes. You can not be duplicated; neither can the moment that goes by in which you are not yourself. Many artists find the confidence to unleash their personal wtf-ness only later in life; some blossom with the carefree confidence of the naïve. Some, like Michael Jackson or some teen stars, display enough confidence and commitment in presenting themselves early in life but become marionettes of commercial culture. Some later become controlled by financial decisions rather than the mysterious emotional and creative often unconscious lunges that speak no language but their own. Some never get the chance. Others let it pass by without knowing. Not all of this originality is great art, nor always even entertaining, but maybe it provides a singular spiritual purpose that it is not for us to know. It may speak from a place above the material and while Lady Gaga’s ideogrammatic characterizations are in step with the commercial, they are also very personal. I am not kidding when I refer to her as a “world spiritual leader”. I think I can speak for her when I say to those of you who speak your own language, leave your own fingerprints at the scene of your own crime, we love you. Which is why I love her.

Be the best possible version of yourself.

The videos below are two examples of what I mean about finding voices outside of the mainstream. Each is beyond easy articulation. Just flat out leave you speechless or “gaga”. First is a courageous, original, and funny comedy troupe from Norway. Comedian Jesper Odelsberg and his troupe: New Wheels on the Block, letting us know his balls are okay. He’s on the right track baby, he was born this way.

His Wheelchair is a Sex Machine!

The family below is European, I think. And from earth. I think. They have no self-consciousness about expressing their desire and divinely inspired determination to alleviate their collective bedwetting. The little kid brings the R&B funk to the funky bedclothes and the women of the family may or may not moonlight as Amish hookers. I hope you will sing “ain’t gonna pee-pee” aloud as you go on your way today.nkies

The Funky Bedwetter feat. the Amish Hookers



You may laugh at, you may laugh with, but just laugh so you can feel it.

When I talk about Lady Gaga’s originality, it has nothing to do with taste, or being “derivative of Madonna” or being in mainstream pop music. (Toronto artist Jana Sterback created a meat dress at the Art Gallery of Ontario in the early 70s, by the way.) Costumes are not who she is, but don’t discount the message she sends with what she wears. Some are bullied for what they wear and she sends a message to stand out. She is a major pop artist, with major talent, but she is a conceptual artist and moral force to me. A victim of bullying herself, she speaks for diversity, acceptance, choice, and respect and anyone whose bad romance can turn into a kickass dance groove. Right now, I’m just celebrating all those who gain the confidence from her to be themselves. The person you are best at being is you. Oh, and I have taken the liberty of speaking for Lady Gaga before, if you caught that irony, right here. She’s kinda busy being the she that she is.

Be Yourself, Be Your Own DNA-mazing!

Real artistic statement, even when wildly commercially successful such as Lady Gaga, can be a moral statement. I personally believe that Satire Can Help Make Evil a Bit More Uncool

For a long, casual and revealing interview with Lady Gaga, here is a link to her appearance at Google.

The “Tupac of Terror”: Osama Bin Laden Drops Another Joint! New Video

May 2, 2011 2 comments

Osama Bin Laden Still Dead Again as Americans Celebrate USA! USA!!

By Joe Bodolai, © 2011, All Rights Reserved

Note: Portions May Be Redacted in Interests of Something or Someone

The CIA and Neocons Evil Muslim Hot Chick Hating Terrorists need to keep the myth of Osama Bin Laden alive to fuel fear of terrorism and lubricate war fever and the abrogation of civil rights in the USA. They have relied on updated but outdated “Osama bin Laden” videos to aid their cause, and since the real Bin Laden (a former CIA operative and US ally not to mention associates of the Bush family) has been dead for years, they need some new lookalikes. Their campaign of fake and cheesy chilling videos seems to have hit a new low frightening tone with this one. Like I said, the video Pentagon analysis suggests that the lookalike actor bin Laden displayed all the amateurish sophisticated mannerisms of an audition tape and bad lighting complete with the usual ridiculously outdated references
up to the minute clues in the fifth grader incoherent babble sophisticated rhetoric that only a total lameass or attentive WalMart shopper trained intelligence analyst could recognize as a total pile of crap frightening call to action that deserved gales of laughter and ridicule urgent military response and security measures such as admitting that the war on terror is a sham standing together taking off our belts for TSA tightening our belts and dropping our pants and bending over renewing our wars everywhere with an idiotic and murderous shotgun approach with a precise asswipe of a plan designed by our military strategic experts roomful of chimpanzees.

The official version includes a photo of the White House War Room that some say has been Photoshopped for those Americans who have no idea what our real leaders look like:

The Fantasy Team Drafted by Obama

Since the real ex-CIA employee Osama bin Laden died several years ago, they have been looking for doubles to appear in their fake “terror” videos. Looks like they’re scraping the bottom of the barrel judging by this posting on barrel scrapings site Craigslist.

Click on picture to enlarge.

Desperate CIA Ad Posted Today on Craigslist

Bin Laden was apparently killed in a raid ordered by President Barack Obama in what anonymous White House sources like me said was a “stroke of luck.” The anonymous really smart source said “the President starts each day with a huge shit serious reflection on the nation’s needs and checking White Sox box scores calling on our military to stop bugging him about veterans’ health care “get bin Laden” but this morning he almost forgot.” Luckily, the source said, “Michelle his people in Israel jokingly suggested ordered him to “you really oughta get some more good press bin Laden because even after the White House Correspondents Dinner rise, your approval rating is down America needs closure from Donald Trump hair jokes.”

In a remarkable plan by the CIA coincidence, the assassination of bin Laden was “live Tweeted” by a CIA plant simple Pakistani IT technician named “Dave” whose Twitter CIA handle is @ReallyVirtual. He has since signed an “earwitness Live Tweeting” deal with online gossip site TMZ and is reportedly working “the Lohan beat” hoping for some “coke use or hot lesbian sex.”

The bin Laden lookalike patsy feared ultra-terrorist was reportedly fooled by a crack shot Delta Force or now Navy SEAL sniper posing as late arriving hummus delivery man as he was about to launch his latest devious plan watch “Glee”. Also found in the compound bachelor pad were the latest in suicide bomber devices a shitload of porn mags. Evidence that he was planning to release an even newer tape included the latest terrorist video Rebecca Black’s “Friday” and the even more deadly poison “Jam” by Kim Kardashian.

The anonymous Navy SEAL sniper who shot bin Laden in the eye said he learned his marksmanship skills from watching porn.

After DNA was verified by comparing it with bin Laden’s sister’s DNA CIA employee file, the body was buried “according to bullshit passed off as Muslim custom” at sea along with Donald Trump’s 2012 Presidential bid. Former Cheney Administration Spokeshole George W. Bush, in a Sober Somber Moment upon hearing of “the whole Osama deal” renewed his 9-11 vow to “finish reading My Pet Goat.

Like this? Say so. Or say it ain’t so Joe! Links to the right for more satire, sports, pop culture, and comedy.

British Tribal Leaders Expand Gene Pool in Bizarre Mating Ceremony

April 29, 2011 5 comments

Guest List Includes “Sophie, Cuntess of Wessex”

By Joe Bodolai (c) 2011, All rights reserved.

Leaders of the once nomadic Saxe-Coburg and Gotha clan gathered in London today, joined by leaders of many of the the world’s other tribes, to wear their once-a-year jewelry stored in vaults in order to qualify for their tax deductions as “work apparel.” The little known deduction is a massive financial benefit as it transfers the taxes and most of the wealth of their “subjects” directly to them, an annual windfall of billions of pounds sterling, euros, land, and dead foxes. The festivities were highlighted by a lavish public display of ritual pre-coital foofoofery intended to stiffen more than the upper lips of the besieged tribe, desperately in need of stiffening of its weakening DNA strands. As the events are still unfolding, Say It Ain’t So, Joe! provides readers with some fast facts to annoy as much as inform:

Kate Middleton Appears To Realize that Her Childhood Dream of Becoming a Princess Comes with Oddly Dressed Idiots Controlling Her Life and Toilet Habits

Some facts:

The American equivalent of the British term “commoners” is “Kardashians”.

SAY IT AIN’T SO JOE! POLL: 96% of British Gays Would Choose to Replace House of Windsor with Haus of Gaga

Prince Harry Vows to Fulfill Role as Backup Heir by Getting Hammered and Nailing Hot Chicks

Many Americans With Sufficient Inbreeding Lack Income to move from status as “white trash hillbillies” to “your royal highness”.

Unlike the Marriage of Diana and Prince Charles, the Royal Family Cited “Sacrifice in Difficult Times” and Did Not Engage the Services of the Royal Hymen Inspector. Possibly Also Because He Was Found to be “Less Than Totally Gay”

The guest below shows that the parties would be enlivened by the usual Royal Festive bunch, especially the notorious Sophie of Wessex. Her reputation precedes her in this typo she will never live down but likely now richly deserves. “Sophie, Cuntess of Wessex.”

Always Fun When Drunk, Princess Sophie was Expected to the Source of Many a Charming Anecdote

The day was not without tragedy, however, as the Daily Mail Copy Editor, responsible for the above schedule of events, was tragically killed in a mysterious high speed car crash in a Parisian tunnel.

Oh, by the way, While we were busy watching the ceremonies, the UK Government quietly announced a 37% cut in NHS funding.

"I'm not wearing underwear"

Miss Jamaica Keeps ‘Tings Ireal at Miss Universe PageantU

April 24, 2011 Leave a comment

When Miss Zimbabwe is White, Standards of Beauty Need Some Recalibration, But What’d She Say?

 By Joe Bodolai (c) 2011, All rights reserved

The Miss Universe Pageant is like a middle school cheerleader tryout and generally entertains us with a similar level of talent like baton twirling, American Idol audition screeching, and moving, passionate pleas for world peace coached by the off-screen pit crews of bimbo handlers. All the wheels come off when Maxine Livingston, Miss Jamaica, sashays onto the stage:

If you don’t understand patois, you’re missing out. This is from AFTER HOURS, which I produced with the great Kenny Robinson, who also hosted. Our audience always brought a lot of island flavour so the laughs were real and loud with no need to translate. Miss Jamaica is the human dynamo of comedy and smarts that is Trey Anthony. The MC is Second City’s Bruce Hunter, complete with Jersey Shore spray tan, and the “translator” is Jean Paul. I wrote this with the cast and Trey improvised the patois. Hint: ras claat and battybwoy are words you should be careful of using among your more polite Jamaican friends.

If you’re new here, please click on the links at the right and if you want to see more of my comedy videos, including more hilarious island-themed comedy, go to my YouTube channel and search for After Hours.

Pilgrims, Attentive Walmart Shoppers Flock to Graceland for “Shroud of Elvis”

April 21, 2011 Leave a comment

Bedsheet With King’s Likeness On Display From Good Friday Through Kickass Friday.

By Joe Bodolai (C) 2011, All rights reserved

The King of People Not Actually the King

By Joe Bodolai © 2011 All rights reserved

The controversial “Shroud of Elvis” will be exhibited at Elvis Presley’s home, Graceland, beginning today, Good Friday,for seven days until Kickass Friday, April 29th.Similar to the Shroud of Turin, which supposedly depicts the likeness of Jesus Christ, a popular religious figure, the Shroud of Elvis is imbued with the likeness of the King. “There is no doubt this is real,” said Jumbo Tuberville, curator of the Elvis Museum and Bait Shop. ”The King had enough Dilaudid and Twinkies in his system to sweat his portrait onto the sheet. The chemicals in his body just fused with the polyester, man. Sweet!“

Pilgrims Celebrate the Unveiling of the Sacred Shroud


The shroud is expected to draw over one million visitors more than the Shroud of Turin, which dates from the Middle Ages or a couple years ago and is being exhibited in order to deflect attention from the widespread pedophilia scandal involving the Pope and countless priests, but doubtfully this guy:

A Pilgrim Ponders Deep Fried Twinkies in Gift Shop  

While rumours flew that the Shroud would be available in replica versions at selected sacred Walmart locations, the Catholic Church and Graceland have refused to comment when asked if displaying the Shroud was an attempt to revitalize both Catholicism and interest in Elvis as a response to the rise of the world’s preeminent spiritual leader, Lady Gaga.

Pope “Joey Ratz” Responds to Arrest of Pedophile Pedophilia Advisor, Forgives Self, Pedophiles

April 17, 2011 4 comments

Two Hail Marys “Oughta Cover It” and “Don’t Sweat the Rapture” Says Oddly Dressed Unmarried Ex-Nazi.

By Joe Bodolai (c) 2011, All rights reserved

Joey Ratz Working His Popely Magic

May 26,2001- Father Riccardo Seppia, a 51 year-old parish priest in the village of Sastri Ponente, near Genoa, was arrested last Friday on pedophilia and drugs charges. Investigators say that in tapped mobile phone conversations Seppia asked a Moroccan drug dealer to arrange sexual encounters with young and vulnerable boys. “I do not want 16-year-old boys, but younger. Fourteen-year-olds are OK. Look for needy boys, who have family issues,” he allegedly said. Genoa Archbishop Angelo Bagnasco, who is also head of the Italian Bishops Conference, had been working with Benedict to establish a tough new worldwide policy released this week on how bishops should handle accusations of priestly sex abuse. Bagnasco said when he met the Pope this weekend he “asked for a particular blessing for my archdiocese,” in light of the accused crimes, adding that “like every father toward a son (feels) great pain in seeing a priest who is not faithful to his vocation.”
“[The investigators] made us listen to that man saying terrifying things about our children. Things so terrible that I cannot repeat them,” a father of one of the boys said. — translated from La Stampa

Proclaiming himself “super holy”, Joe Ratzinger (aka “the Pope”) emerged from a Vatican confessional sauna today and claims he has “forgiven” himself for what he referred to as “so-called sins” and also forgave all priests and other church officials accused of child molestation. “Nothing like the Rapture happened so I took care of you there. Some people might see all this forgiving as damage control,” said the former Nazi Youth, “but first there has to be damage. Anyway, I gave myself and the guys a round of Hail Marys, and you know if I bring Mary into this, and she is a virgin, that’s proof of no diddling boys. This whole mess is due to the clever homosexual children because the little lambs got flocked by the Shepherd which proves they were not victims,” he “explained.” The official Vatican press release, published in High Pig Latin, entitled Uckfay Uyay, continued: ” as a bonus, I threw in forgiving the Beatles and, I’m offering 50% off for all school groups to visit the Shroud of Turin for Christ’s sake. We’re also selling Abbey Road in the Vatican gift shop now cheaper than iTunes, use code veni vidi vici This is what makes the Catholic Church such a great donation value. Remember, omnes gallia est divisa en tres partes. When questioned about his infallibility at a special Palm Sunday brunch at the Palm Restaurant at Vatican Citywalk , the Pope blamed his streak of incorrectly picking the last 45 Super Bowl winners on “Satan and the bloggers.”Dominus frickin’ vobiscum! I gotta go. Chris Hansen’s in the gift shop. Oh, and to by the way, no, I do not consider my outfits ‘super gay.”

“What profit has not that fable of Christ brought us!”
Pope Leo X (As attributed by John Bale, Bishop of Ossory, in The Pageant of Popes, p. 179, 1574)

“I am surrounded by priests who repeat incessantly that their kingdom is not of this world, and yet they lay their hands on everything they can get.” — Napoleon Bonaparte

Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest.
~ Denis Diderot

All great truths begin as blasphemies.
~ George Bernard Shaw

Argentum Duram Et Majoram — Latinish for “Hard Cash is Best”, Motto of All Churches Everywhere

This Video’s Lyrics May be Inaccurately Translated for Your Enjoyment

April 15, 2011 3 comments

“Slumdog Millionaire” Paved the Way for “Benny Lover” But the Lyrics May Shock Some

By Joe Bodolai (c) 2010, All rights reserved

Once again, it took my team at Quality Shows Inaccurate Translation Service to bring an amazing new video to the public’s attention. Here’s just a hint of a brilliant new Bollywood video with dazzling dancing, stunning costumes, and lyrics that will have you snapping your head back in disbelief. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you my Innacurately Translated version of “Benny Lover”.

This is just what it sounds like to me.