Archive for May, 2010

Sports: Confusion Reigns at Shirts’ Minicamp

May 26, 2010 1 comment

Prparing for Archrival Skins a Tough Task

By Joe Bodolai (c) All rights reserved.

Oldest Rivalry in Sports

If the Shirts plan on catching their archrival Skins they had better get their heads in the game — and soon. The first session of their rookie minicamp was marred by massive confusion, resulting in 35 interceptions as players blocked and tackled their own teammates. Coach Ed Hardy said “The kids were solid physically but the mental mistakse will kill us. I’ll probably have the defense actually take their shirts off next time to better simulate the Skins’ coverages.” Hardy said he will also appeal the unofficial world-wide league’s ruling allowing liberal use of suntan oil by the Skins making them too slippery to tackle. We’re going to go to West Coast Hair Gel offense and a 4-3 Vaseline defense,” said Hardy.

The Skins have a commanding and almost insurmountable three game lead in what is the oldest rivalry in sports, with a 23,456,789,243 wins to the Shirts’ 23,456,789,240..

Pardon the Interruption

May 25, 2010 2 comments

Hi Everybody,

I’m currently unable to update my blog regularly as I am in a remote secret undisclosed location. I am, however, using the primitive tools I find here to take notes, even write, and when I am back in modern civilization I will unleash a category five blogstorm.

Until then, please poke around in my previous posts. Click on any of the headlines in the column on the right or the various months that I’ve been posting and let me know what you think.


Court Allows Man to Change Unfortunate Spelling of Name

May 1, 2010 1 comment


By Joe Bodolai © 2010 All rights reserved

“I tried to get everyone from teachers and classmates to pronounce my surname properly, the way it’s spelled, but they refusedand turned it into brutal humiliation,” explained the 26 year-old Buffalo man who finally won his case today to change the spelling of his name. “It’s pronounced Shy-theed, but they just humiliated me by deliberately mispronouncing it”, said plaintiff Earl Shithead.

"It's Pronounced Shy-Theed, explained Mr. Fukafacci"

Powerful supporting testimony in his case came from Jean Claude Ashweepey (formerly spelled “Asswipe”) and Olivia Contholay (formerly spelled “Cunthole”.)

Judge Richard Wad ruled in his favor after only five minutes. “Mr. Shithead is happy as fuque,” said his attorney Guido Fukafacci.

Three Things About Today

By Joe Bodolai (c) 2010, All rights reserved

1. Today is the seventh anniversary of “Mission Accomplished” and we know how well that worked out.

2. Today is the ninth anniversary of the disappearance of young Washington intern Chandra Levy, whose remains were later found. She was involved in a romance with congressman Gary Condit, whose name was in headlines daily, until September 11th. Condit is America’s luckiest forgotten man. Hope you’re enjoying your stroke of luck every September 11th Gary.

3. For some reason, the Kardashians and Justin Bieber are at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner

News From Next Week

By Joe Bodolai © 2010 All rights reserved

BP’s Plan for Oil Spill: Topple Huge Balsamic Vinegar Rig to Create “Delicious Healthy Salad Dressing Spill”

Unintentional Gay Porn Headline of The Week: “Yankees Ride Jeter’s Bat for Come From Behind Win”

New Feminist Porn Movie “Ironing Man 2” Opens to Rave Review

Detroit Cancels International Workers Day Picnic for Lack of Workers